Heart of the Matter: Rethinking Marriage

Live from the Mecca of Mormonism, this is Heart of the Matter, where we are re-learning how to live in the age of fulfillment. And I’m your host Shawn McCraney.

Show 3A: Marriage
Taped January 14th, 2019
Aired January 20th, 2020

So, things are about to get more radical for some of you here on Heart of the Matter. Why? We are going to begin to learn to shift our thinking from MUST comply to CHOOSE to comply. How so? In the New Testament, as we know by now, the Apostles were in charge of overseeing the Bride of Christ until He returned, as promised, to take them. They were serious about the believers following their mandates as Satan was going to be (or was) released and like a roaring lion roamed the land seeking whom he could devour before His time ended once and for all. So, by the Holy Spirit, the Apostles gave directives that were meant to keep the bride pure, united, and without spot or wrinkle.

Understanding the Shift

Since Jesus has returned, we continue to read the Word but the messages shift – since His bride has been taken from “You must do this,” to “you ought to do this because it is good for the individual, couples, family, community, country, and world.” This approach is central to those who understand fulfillment – God’s principles for living are there for the taking, and His Spirit moves those who are His to apply them to their lives – or not. We are free to choose and to live and act because we are no longer trying to keep the bride without spot or wrinkle. Instead, we are seeking to love as God wants us to love: Selflessly, Patiently, Kindly, Mercifully.

Marriage in the Age of Fulfillment

So, I want to begin with a conversation about marriage. Specifically, let’s start with:

• What is marriage (according to the Bible?)
• Must Christians marry today?
• Who can Christians marry?
• Is marriage a good thing today?

We will hit on these four questions and address them relative to the age of fulfillment.

Biblical Definition of Marriage

What is marriage (according to the Bible?) This is an important question because it has been so wrongly interpreted over the ages, and these misinterpretations have led to all sorts of miserable by-products. So marriage, plain and simple, occurs when two willing people – male and female – unite through sexual intercourse. This is marriage from a biblical perspective. When this occurs, the couple is married – in God’s eyes. Marriage is not a ceremony, not a ritual, not a rite or a form or a contract. Marriage is not sexual expressions like holding hands, kissing or sexual interactions void of intercourse. These latter things are defined as “lustful, carnal” activities of the flesh in scripture and come with their own problems and consequences. But sexual intercourse between two willing people (male and female) is the biblical definition of marriage.

Why? Because that is how God set it up in the Garden – but in sort of a reverse fashion to how we see it today. There he created Adam, took a rib from his side, built her up to Eve, and then commanded the two to become one as a means to multiply and replenish the earth. That takes a male and a female who willingly become one through sexual intercourse. Which again is the biblical definition of Marriage because, through that specific union, new life can occur bringing forth children through that specific union.

The act of sexual intercourse is considered marriage biblically because when two people willingly engaged in it, they were tacitly agreeing to be responsible for the potential product of that union – children. And responsible to each other as the creators of that child or children. As a result of this definition, sexual intercourse between two people of the opposite sex was extremely sacred to the Nation of Israel, whom God called out to be His covenant people.

We note that Adam and Eve were commanded to be one without a ceremony, right. The union was the ceremony. No pastors, no certificates, no tax exemptions. Just two people of the opposite sex willingly engaging in sexual intercourse. We note that when Abraham was told by Sariah to take Hagar “to wife” and that he took her into a tent and “married her.” No priestly functions, no ceremony – just sexual intercourse. If we read the Bible and understood this and accepted it, then taught it to our children and to each other, our views of sexual relations and marriage will take on a whole new perspective.

Redefining Marriage

But no, that won’t be with the controlling religions of the world. They decided to take the biblical definition of marriage and add to it. They decided, admittedly even before Jesus' day, to add rituals, celebrations, demands which took the biblical definition of marriage and added to it. Did God tell them to add to it? No. God makes it plain that sexual intercourse between two people of the opposite sex is His definition of marriage, thereby making sexual intercourse sacred, special, and acceptable within a very limited scope.

What is sad and most revealing is that in our world and age, the CEREMONY of marriage (weddings, her day, parties) have become “all important” to people while the actual act of marriage (sexual intercourse) has been so devalued and common is like getting a cup of coffee for some people. It’s an effed up mess – pun intended – but it is largely the fault of the religions who could not refrain from taking what God intended and trying to control people through their additions to it, stripping the ownership of it from the hands of the individuals involved and forcing ceremonies upon them as a means to insert their authority and power over all.

The Impact of Religious Control

This gave them power and control over individuals and LISTEN – allowed individuals to equate marriage NOT with intercourse but with ceremony. As a result, intercourse became more of a non-event while having a church ceremony or sanction the main event! Unbelievable how easily we can be controlled and what messes these measures create in our lives. I would suggest that in this age of fulfillment, and I wish it occurred a lot earlier, that we start teaching ourselves and our children and grandchildren the real meaning of marriage. Is so doing they will begin to take intercourse and the things that lead up to it, more seriously, and with some introspection – if it's taught right. This will not only place the right emphasis on the seriousness of sexual intercourse but will liberate generations to come from the strongholds of the church who have no business sticking their nose in marriage. None.

I told you we were going to start to get radical under this age. We will get more into about teaching it right next week when we talk more about marital sex.

Must Christians Marry?

Next question: Must Christians marry? That is up to each and every individual – remember, by looking at our definition of what marriage really is. In Paul’s day he said it was better to refrain from it (but that was due to the freight train of end-time hell coming their way) but he also added it was better to marry than to burn – which I think had a double meaning to them/then.

From the Christian perspective, if a person wants a sex life of fulfilling intercourse with an individual then they have their answer. Again, we will talk about sex next week.

Can a person be married to more than one person at a time? Apparently so – as Abraham and David and others were. But in an age where God writes His laws on our hearts and minds and His laws are all about love – agape love – the kind of love that is selfless, longsuffering, patient, and kind etc., all the persons involved in such a situation must be assured by God that it is right by Him for this in their lives.

Personal Responsibility and Love

We have to be liberal on these things because it is NOT our job to try and enforce or mandate what other people chose to do. That is their choice and they are responsible for the choices made. And this is the really truly difficult thing about living in the age of fulfillment – to believe and see that the victory has been had, and everyone in the world has the liberty to choose how they will live their lives – believer and not. And that it is the BELIEVER'S responsibility to love others along the way. All others. All the time.

To me, and for sons and daughters looking for guidance, the question we must all ask ourselves is what is best (in terms of agape love) for the individuals, the couple, the family, the community, the country, and the world involved. As we are all personally responsible to our God for the decisions that we make. I personally think the sorrows that come with multiple spouses are much too big for most people to manage.

God's Design for Marriage

The formula laid out in the garden by God seems best – male and female – one of each, once for all and once engaged, for life. The detrimental effect of rearranging this layout is too deep to mess with all things considered. That last line, “once and for life” is important because it helps us understand sex more intimately relative to God and his protective desires for his creations and his children. Our will may scream Many partners! Many marriages! But His ways are superior to our will and the Spirit is always pushing for agape selfless suffering love over love for the self.

Marriage in the Age of Fulfillment

The third Question: In the age of fulfillment, who can Christians marry? Letting the spirit guide, Christians can marry anyone they choose to marry as marriage is of this world and in the resurrection we are neither married nor given in marriage. But as with EVERYTHING in the age of fulfillment, God writes His laws on our hearts and minds and those who trust in Father by the spirit through His Son will be led of Him as they trust and rely upon His will and wisdom. Many Christians will pull from the New Testament and use Paul’s words about not being unequally yoked with unbelievers and they apply it to marriage. Is there wisdom in this? Of course. But again, we don’t always rely on our wisdom but the wisdom of God by the Spirit.

Marriage is very hard for most people. It takes a lot of work and self-sacrifice (if done well) and to start off with two people not sharing the same faith can be really difficult – especially once children are brought into the picture. But I know of people who were not of the same faith who married and it has worked out wonderfully and I know devout Christians who marry and wind up divorced. Marriage is of this world. It is a foundational building block of a healthy society with the longevity of it being key. If the Spirit (and not the sex drive) guides, Christians are free to marry who they wish in the age of fulfillment. And that again means to have sexual intercourse with a person of the opposite sex freely and for life.

The Goodness of Marriage Today

The final question for tonight: Is marriage good today? As defined by the Bible marriage is good. It is how the human race entered into creation. But we are not locked into it. Marriage is not for everyone because the demands for maintaining a good one can be overwhelming. So again, marriage, as we have defined it tonight, is completely between every individual involved and the Lord.

So, write your questions or comments below and next week, we will begin to talk about marriage and sex and homosexuality and all the rest . . . in the age of fulfillment . . . Here on Heart of the Matter!