Heart of the Matter: Selfless Love in Action

Live from the Mecca of Mormonism, this is Heart of the MatterTGNN’s original show where Shawn McCraney deconstructed religion and developed fulfilled theology., where we are re-learning how to live in the age of fulfillment. And I’m your host, Shawn McCraneyFounder of TGNN and developer of the fulfilled perspective—calling people to faith outside of religion..

Show 3B: Marriage Follow-Up
Taped January 21st, 2020

Scriptural Insights

Some of you join us for our verse by verseTGNN’s Bible teaching series—book-by-book, through the lens of fulfillment and spiritual liberty. through the New Testament on Sundays live and through streaming, and some of you watch through the archives. We are in Philippians in Milk, and I came across a set of passages that brought a message I want to share with you before we go to the emails, comments, and phones.

And he continues and says at verse 23-24:

23 For I am in a strait betwixt (between) two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better:
24 Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you.

There are two results and I desire them both, so I am in a strait—a narrow fix between them.

He desired to die (depart)—leave this world and be with Christ (for all the reasons we articulated a minute ago—plus more I’m sure) he said, which is “far better” meaning it would bring him great joy and relief (as we said). Nevertheless, he adds in verse 24:

“to abide in the flesh is more needful for you.”

Christian Love in Practice

And this brings me to an important principle that I think we ought to mention – and I don’t see it fleshed out very often in the faith. Let me begin by saying something obvious – Christianity is NOT selfish or self-centered. It is loving and that love is only expressed in the verb of self-sacrifice. Secondly, we cannot love God or Christ through immaterial obeisance. That is not love because that is not a verb. That is a feeling, an idea, a concept.

So the way, the way, let me repeat this, THE WAY that Christians show selfless, sacrificial agape loveSelfless love marked by patience, mercy, and humility—central to living in spiritual liberty. FOR God and His Christ is by and through our selfless and sacrificial love for others. There is no getting around this—and this to me explains one of the main purposes of life—to show our love for God (the first great commandment) by showing our love to others as He commands. There is no real love for God absent the active love we choose to show toward others.

Love for God and Others

John said this simply first in 1st John 2:4:
“He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.”

His commandments are to love him AND others—so we cannot say we know Him if our love for both is absent. Secondly, John the beloved adds:

1st John 4:20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?

So we strive to abandon this attitude and or behavior that says, “I love God so much that I do not have to love man." Our love FOR God is illustrated BY and THROUGH our love not only for MAN but for undeserving man at that.

Paul admits here that he is between a rock and a hard place in his desires to either die and be with Jesus or to remain behind and serve the believers at Philippi. We all understand this. But agape love, the verb which is EXPRESSED for God and His Christ here through us, answers that dilemma we all face in the pain and struggles of our existence: To remain here in the service of our fellow-human beings, hard as it may be, IS the highest form of love a Christian could have.

And because our attitudes and actions are often the result of our thoughts and words, to me it is important to change the language in the culture and to begin to say to ourselves:

“While I worship, love and adore Jesus, my desire is to be here on earth as long as humanly possible as a means to prove it.”

That is the selfless sacrificial kind of love that a Christian seeks to develop within themselves. I used to be a self-centered nihilist that longed for deathSeparation from God—now overcome. Physical death remains, but it no longer separates us from life with God.. I wanted to abandon this world and everything in it selfishly—and struggled with the ideation. But when Christ came in and I came to realize what genuine Christian love looks like, I began to not only long to stay and suffer while serving others rather than…

The Importance of Embodying Christian Teachings

To escape it all and serve myself. Today it makes no sense to me when a mature Christian, unless they are in pain that they can't escape, says: "I just wanna go and be with Jesus," because to me that is the height of selfishness. So while we may want to escape this world, the Christian act is to do all that we can to remain in the realm where we can best serve him and others – which is IN the flesh.

This attitude moved me from not caring about what I ate or drank (which is my natural proclivity) to caring for this body, and telling God that I wanted to live for Him and His purposes and not my own. Paul admits to the value of abiding in the flesh instead of dying by saying:

Paul's Insight on Living

“Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you,” and then he adds:

25 And having this confidence, I know that I shall abide and continue with you all for your furtherance and joy of faith;

Kara Pendleton Such a beautiful teaching and something I came to understand through my own bible study and prayer, after I left the cult of Mormonism. There are studies that show living together before marriage (which presumably includes intercourse) has a higher risk for divorce than putting man's definition of marriage first. I am thinking perhaps that is so because of the point you made about the shift in how we look at and teach about sex and marriage. If those couples understood living together in that way as marriage, would the outcome be different? I suspect it might, but I'm interested in your take on that. What are your thoughts? Thanks so much for all your hard work. Am totally loving Redux and am learning a lot.

I absolutely agree Kara. It's all a mindset. Like you said, if couples were able to see and understand that what they are doing, living together IS marriage, it would help them with commitment and resolve in overcoming difficulties that come with cohabitation.

The Teaching of Marriage

Cheryl Dyer Can you talk a bit about the Wedding where Jesus turned water into wine? What was this wedding about? By the time Jesus came on the scene much of the truth of things had been obscured. Nevertheless, the culture and the wedding processions were not forbidden by God but the consummation between the bride and groom was still seen as the marriage. Weddings have and will be with us – whatever – but the teaching of what real marriage is was the point and not so much an indictment on parties where the families and friends celebrate the two becoming one.

Secondly, Cheryl asks: Also regarding Paul's statement, "It is better to marry than to burn", I thought it meant better to marry than to burn, i.e, with passion. I can't remember where this came from but I believe it was through J.W.s. I think they may have changed this in their Bible translation because the word, "burn" indicates a burning hell which they do not believe in at all. I suppose it could mean passion, however. Thanks for your teachings as always, Shawn.

Paul did say that. I think the advice was good – then and today. To burn in lust was to consummate it without commitment. And I think there was a double entendre meant by Paul since those who were not part of the bride in that day would burn at his coming. So Paul was saying it is better to marry (in your union with one another exclusively) if you can’t control your lusts. I think that even in Paul’s day the term marry meant an official ceremony – even to him – but again, this is not how it was from the beginning.

Old Religion Dystopia (Known as Mike from Ohio) Well done, Sir! Well Done! Most of my troubles come from me not keeping my Stringer out of the honey until the proper time. (Amen to that, brother. And then he says something important) What a lofty goal it is in this hyper-sexualized world. I imagine it's worth it in the end to follow God's designs over our own. Imagine that? DUHHHHHHH! Excellent work McCraney.

It is a lofty goal. And I push for lofty goals that were God’s from the get-go because we see the fallout from short-stopping his ways because His ways don’t necessarily work among the

Understanding Views on Marriage and Spiritual Beliefs

Masses of humanity. I hate insertions to the truth because men think that their ways of the world are superior to His ways. And I realize most pastors say this but they with the same mouth will justify all sorts of mansplaining into why they do what they do as Christians.

Stephanie Smith
I believe the young people of today, especially, need to hear this message.

Me too, Stephanie. And it will be hardfought to find acceptance. We had a couple of really nice young kids on HOTM last year – millennials – and their view of sexual relations was so so very sad. They were convinced their advanced views were superior to those of their parents, and perhaps in some ways they were, but sexual intercourse is sacred and so vitally important to marriage, families and society at large. Next week I am going to explain some things about my own life relative to sex that will break your heart. I think we can do better and I don’t think the approach we have accepted in the faith holds water. So let’s get back to God and work from there.

Beliefs About Marriage

ElviraPhins
YES, thank you! Finally someone who gets it. I was with my children's father for 20 years yet never "legally" married. When family and friends would get on us for not getting married, I would always try and explain to them that we are married. That we got married when we got together and planned on having children together. We didn't need a piece of paper to bond us, our children did that.

That is awesome, and that is faithful to God. It is a faith walk on your part and I fully endorse it. She goes on and says:

My belief is Genesis 1 and 2 are two separate events. That creating something and forming something are two different things. Like a story can be created in the mind of the storyteller without anything physical being made. Therefore to me Genesis 1 is the creating of the story to be written. Where humans, Male and Female (not the same as man and woman) are created (at the same time).

Genesis 2 is where one man (husband) and one woman (wife) are made and the first marriage is formed. Idk if any of that makes sense. It's kinda hard to explain in a YouTube comment. It would be interesting however to get your take on Genesis 1 and 2. If you believe them to be the same story retold or separate events. Thank you again HOTM for all that you do.

You have opened me up to another view and I thank you for that. I’ll take a look and try to let you know. You might have to remind me, but thank you for planting that seed. It makes some real sense.

Opinions on Same-Sex Marriage

My good old friend Dr. Ramon G. Rivera ?? Wrote:

YES! YOU ARE ON TARGET!

Thanks bradda, and

Jeanette Silhouette wrote something really interesting, saying:

I saw a post on FaceBook a few years back from a friend that is gay. He said, "Please pray that same sex marriage becomes legal so that I am no longer living in sinMissing the mark of faith and love—no punishment, just lost growth or peace.." His words really made me think.

EXACTLY. This is a perfect example of where the additions of Man to the simplicities of God are ultimately used in a way that hurts more than it helps. We are going to talk about homosexual marriage in the weeks to come. But this is a perfect example of how the ceremony, which is seen as legally binding, is used to justify what is not biblical marriage. I am not going to hit on the highlights now – but they are not against people who are gay. They are merely a revamp of the thinking that, in my opinion, will help believers in this world AND frankly help homosexuals and their desire for acceptance and legitimacy. So stay tuned.

Addressing Scriptural Proof

Jason Hurd
Where is your scriptural proof that Christ has returned?

Ah my brother. That is sort of like asking, what is the proof that there is a God. There are evidences for sure, and there are passages and historical claims that validate it, but the first venture is if I was to tell you, would you believe it. This is really important because we often come to things with presuppositions and no matter what we are shown we will not “see and hear.”

Exploring the Term "Replenish" in Genesis

So I say this in ALL seriousness. And then if you REALLY want to know we have a free downloadable book on our website called, Its not the end of the world. And that will get you going on the adventure to discover the answer yourself. Again – its free, its informative, and it is there for seekers of truth to consider. God bless you man.

Finally, Earth Is Not A Ball writes:

When it says replenish the earth doesn’t replenish mean do it again?

Understanding "Replenish" in the Bible

It’s a common belief and while there have been innumerable attempts to suggest a gap theory in between Genesis verse 1 and 2, it is much easier to understand if we simply look to the word translated replenish in our FAVORITE old King James version of the Bible!

Genesis 1:27-28 reads:

Ge 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. 28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

Of course the English word replenish is from the latin re (again) and plenus (full) which can mean, “to fill again.” But the original Hebrew make the Hebrew term “male” clear.

"Male" in Hebrew Context

But that darn King James didn’t care about the fact that the Hebrew male means to fill, not to fill again. In fact the very same “male” is used in Genesis 1:22 where God commands to “fill the waters of the seas.” Of the 300 plus times the KJV uses the word male’, it is translated by the word “replenish” only seven times, and even those seven all of them could and should correctly “fill.”