No More Hacking, Part 2

Christian Maturity and Spiritual Approach

Live from Salt Lake City, Utah, this is Heart of the Matter where we do all we can to worship God in Spirit and in Truth. I’m Shawn McCraney, your host.

Over the course of ministry there have been people who want to know – as if it can be definitive for all people – how they can tell if they are Christian in the heart, if they are growing in the faith, if God really has a hold on their heart. What is about to follow is just an example of ways to tell where you are in your Christian maturity. I take it from real life experiences of driving a truck for my dad and late brothers plumbing supply truck years ago. And so I am titling this example, the Stress of Driving a Delivery Truck.

Imagine for a moment that you, going to a lunch appointment, and have parked your car on a dead end resting between two buildings. Then let's suppose that while you are at lunch a large trailer truck has come to make a delivery at a place across the street and has to back his truck trailer into a very tight loading dock. In so doing he has gotten himself stuck and unable to move; you are unable to get out of your spot.

Responses to Stressful Situations

Now you have a very important job interview (one set up a year ago it is so prestigious) but the truck is sitting in such a way that they are considering breaking the trailers down just to get the guy out which is going to take a solid forty-five minutes. The Flesh would freak out, scream, threaten and call the trucking company crying in all probability. It would blame, call names and just essentially throw a tantrum. A Spiritualist might try and breathe deep, try and reason with the company he is interviewing with over the phone, and would try to believe that all of this would work out for his good. Then would go sit in the restaurant until the problem is solved. Now stay with me – a true Christian from the HEART would see the stress the truck driver would be under and then step forward to help alleviate his problems with peaceful reassuring recommendations and assistance NOT because it would best serve him but because it would first help the driver. We might realize that trying to solve the situation would, in the end, help us out too, but we would get in and serve the truck driver and his needs for as long as it takes and in an effort to help reduce his stress and then turn to our own trouble afterward. This example might illustrate the difference in approach we take to the situation between being a person of the flesh and a person of the Spirit by Christ. God, others, self.

Beliefs about Hell and the Afterlife

I really don’t know what the official teaching is on hell by preterists but hell is the dark holding tank and not the place of flames and burning in scripture. Because I believe that all of the Word has been fulfilled in scripture (though themes mentioned are certainly repeated) I believe that the following passage has been fulfilled too:

Revelation 20:13 And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works. This leaves us with the question, “Well if that’s the case, what happens to people today when they die?"

I believe that we all enter into the presence of the Lord – those who have been saved by grace through faith in Him are able to abide in His presence, in His glory as they are made glorious, and those who have not into the Lake of Fire. Some, who have simply missed receiving Him will enter for one period of time and those who have done great evil will enter in for another length of time. This Lake of Fire – which, according to Revelation 14:10, is in the presence of the Lamb and His Holy Angels – will purge and destroy all of the individual that is not of God, or as Revelation 21:8 says, “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the…

Exploring the Imagery of Afterlife Punishment

abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

Did you catch that little quip of words . . .

“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone . . . “

Their part – a portion or allotment, which comes from a Hebrew Word tied to their lawful amount. Psalm 11:6 says something similar saying:

“Upon the wicked he shall rain snares, fire and brimstone, and an horrible tempest: this shall be the portion of their cup.”

The imagery of humans burning forever in hell – an idea full of non biblical nonsense – is a man made fabrication, as scripture ties age to age torments to the devil, the beast, and the false prophet as Revelation 20:10 says

“And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.”

But human beings, from all descriptions of afterlife punishment, first, will experience this in measure, as an allotment of the Law for their crimes, and they will experience this in the Lake of Fire, which is in the presence of the Lamb.

Understanding Man-Made Religion

So last week we discussed the fact that there is a marked difference between a person going directly to God through Christ and going to religious institutions as a means to receive the same things. Instead of hacking at the branches, and complaining about “this church doing this,” or that “denomination teaching that,” I said I wanted to know what is truly driving and motivating the brick and mortar institutions and those who govern them.

My friend RJR called me and figured out what motivates these institutions at the core level – which you may have ideas about as well – but instead of just summarizing that churches are out to control or to gather wealth I am hoping to not just identify what they are ultimately after but the means and systems they use to obtain what they are after.

Searching the Spirit of Man

In other words I want to know not only who is hiding behind the curtain but WHY he is hiding, why he wants to be there (his ultimate motivation for pulling this lever and shouting this and that into the microphone) and what tools he uses to get what he wants. Now, I mentioned last week that the Word of God delivers for us all the good things God wants us to know about Him and His will, about the Good News, about life eternal. But outside of describing all this for us the Word doesn’t really talk all too much about how the things of this fallen world operate. We have to therefore learn about the things of this world from the things in the world.

Even the Word admits that if we are to know and understand the things of Man we have to search the Spirit of Man, as Paul says in 1st Corinthians 2:11 For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God. To me, in order to understand man-made religion (and what drives and motivates them and then what tools they use to manipulate the masses) we have to search out the Spirit of Man and the Wisdom of Man which can supply us with these answers.

And so I traveled back through the woods of my lost years, and brought to the forefront of my mind endless hours spend between the sheets of Machiavelli, Herman Hesse, Rollo May, Eric Fromm, Ayn Rand, Eric Hoffer, Dostoyevski, Thom Gilovich, Bertrand Russell, Voltaire, Hugo, Thoreau, Nietzsche and of course men like Marx and Hegel, and Kierkegaard, and Sartre.

Insights into Human Nature

To me these are some of the best insights into what thrives in the Spirit of Man, and insights into the ways and means, the faults and lies, of the Human Heart. Perhaps, I thought, by going back, I will gain insight into the motives of the worlds master manipulators because within these insightful minds and hearts (I just cited) lie understanding of manipulation, greed, power, and consummate evil. Through them we can see the germs of totalitarianism, the fetid sway of mass movements, the

The Nature of Leadership in Religious Institutions

Dark powers of evil Princes, and the selfish nature abiding in all unregenerate religionists. Now, listen, in trying to get to the root of what motivates and governs the brick and mortars I am not talking about the “ways and means” of the “managers” of these brick and mortars. There is a huge difference in systems and institutions between managers and true leaders and innovators. Many, many books have been written about these differences but generally speaking managers of institutional evil tools of timidity and fear who typically strive to sustain and maintain the status quo rather than to create or innovate. True managers do nothing outside of the box and merely follow their orders – like the capos in WWII death camps, the Bishops and Stake Presidents of the local LDS Church, and the pastors of denominations.

And so while frustration is often the prize for selling their independence to the powers that be, managers toe the line as a path to security. To study the ways and means of true managers within a system is traditionally a study in mediocrity as they originate little, venture out less, and merely police and perpetuate the vision of those in control, the founders or the true leaders, of the venture. A quick read of C. Northcoat Parkinson will open your eyes to the difference between managers and leaders as will the insights of men like Ron Heifeits. Within the faith (and outside of the corporate or governmental world) our managers are traditionally found in the roles of pastors, priests and the preachers of denominations. These reflect the motivations and will of the powers that be but they are not the power themselves – merely pawns in the game of power.

Motivation and Control in Religious Institutions

In my estimation, we will get much closer to the root of what motivates brick and mortar activities and how they operate by studying just one soul who starts or even a non-denom than studying the ways of a thousand denominational managers. Having said that, we must admit that managers often reflect the same drive for control that feed the actual institutions they represent, but these are more often than not exacted on those under their congregational control – sometimes more brutally and egotistically than from the top. In any case, we’re not interested in trying to understand the mindset of religious managers nor congregates who love to be dominated and pushed around in Jesus name – those would be two entirely different avenues of study for another time.

Examining the Institutions

What we want to strike is the root of “what is the overall motivation, purpose and methods in brick and mortar religious institutions,” remembering that religions and their leaders are an inferior, (even a broken substitute) for going directly to God Himself through Christ. Coming out of Mormonism and breaking free from its grip I was able to see firsthand (but by looking backward) the overabundance of evil parameters at work in what is otherwise considered a viable wholesome earthly institution. Claiming to BE THE intermediary between God and Man, Mormonism – clean, scrubbed, and efficient – is dripping with systems, teachings, and demands that are absolutely antithetical to what Jesus came to provide. Again, if these are not of God what are they of and from where do they originate?

By examining what it obviously seeks to achieve and accomplish in its rule over its members – total allegiance, obedience, devotion, and ultimate control – we can then see what motivates it and the means it employs to reach its overall desires: The ultimate control of the masses by the few. This is the motivation, the goal. We will get to how they do it later. So I had to step back and ask: Is this what is at the heart of Mormonism, what motivates it behind the scenes? The control of the masses by the few. Is this what motivated the Man behind the Curtain in the Wizard of Oz, the Catholic empire? The Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Southern Baptist Convention, the non-denominational Pastor standing over a little flock out in the country? Possibly. Seems to, at least. But what is the motivation behind this ubiquitous drive? Where does it originate?

Is the non-God spirit that motivates a single pastor over a small flock in the country the same non-God Spirit that motivates the Pope, the LDS prophet, and every other leaders of the brick and mortar institutions in the faith? Certainly there are pastor/leaders who serve from the heart and by His Spirit in their work but again, we are not.

Understanding Manipulation and Control

I want to know what spirit moves the few in the religious institutions to dominate and control their flocks (the many) because once this is understood, it can then be recognized. And once it is recognized it can be challenged. And once challenged destroyed.

After racking my brain and the influences that have helped me understand the World of Man. I read Machiavelli when I was in my twenties. I took out some old quotes written on scraps of paper: “Men are so simple and so much inclined to obey immediate needs that a deceiver will never lack victims for his deceptions.” “It is much more secure to be feared than to be loved.” “No enterprise is more likely to succeed than one concealed from the enemy until it is ripe for execution.”

I read and re-read Rand (and her Objectivist views of the world) in the same period of my life. Read Bertrand Russell, Ghandi and Eric Hoffer and Fromm, Rollo May – I read and read and searched to understand. I used to think that a breakout from the dark principles governing Man was available in True Communism. Attempted Das Kapital and the Communist Manifesto. That’s a joke as the same dark principles are at work in Communism as there are in capitalism (and in probably every ism out there – including subjectivism, if that is ever allowed to play out to an extreme). Only time will tell.

Influential Thinkers

But I have learned from men like Marx and Lenin things about the tools and forms used to manipulate as it was Lenin himself who said: “A lie told enough times becomes the truth.” Think about this when it comes to the LDS story of the First Vision, when it comes to the description of God as a Trinity, when it comes to Madison Avenue and its manipulation of our minds. How about some other great insights on Manipulation, like: “When it comes to controlling human beings, there is no better instrument than lies. Because you see, humans live by beliefs. And beliefs can be manipulated. The power to manipulate beliefs is the only thing that counts." Michael Ende

And this VERY important and applicable quote by Paulo Freire which says: “One of the methods of manipulation is to inoculate individuals with the bourgeois appetite for personal success.”

Then some twenty years ago I started to try and read Noam Chomsky . . . of whom it has been said is “arguably the most important intellectual alive.” Interestingly, many people have no idea who he is or what he’s about. In fact, more people know about the Kardashians who do nothing than they know about Chomsky. This fact, in and of itself, is more revealing than we might initially believe. Why is this the way it works in our world – that highly adept and accomplished men like Chomsky are unknown (relatively speaking) but inept and incapable fools have a public voice?

The Impact of Noam Chomsky

Because Chomsky exposes the machine for what it is and the machine, running full force on dark principles, doesn’t like the light. So it gives light to the inept and false but keeps real game changers in the dark – men and women like Chomsky. That’s a principle Ayn Rand presents in a fictional character named Elsworth Toohey. In Rand’s epic book, The Fountainhead, there is Howard Roark, the premiere example of individualism and then there is his opposite, Elsworth Toohey, a man who represents the spirit of collectivism, which Rand indirectly describes as the Spirit of non-creativity. Toohey hates anything superior, anything that rises above, anything that sets an unusual standards of excellence. In large part because such CANNOT be controlled. Therefore, in her book, Toohey is adored by the masses and Roark struggles to survive.

Now Chomsky is known for his expertise in two distinct (but what I believe are interrelated areas) Linguistics and what Socrates was known for . . . “gadflying” (which might be described as being a constant social irritant toward something or another – in Chomsky’s case – the world of dark principled forces found in politics, corporations and major media outlets). And as mentioned his criticism of major media outlets has led to him rarely being talked about in the major media. Where we suspect that there is a big Brother operating behind the scenes Chomsky proves it. Now, I’ve never been able to fully understand Chomsky. His intellectual abilities are four hundred

Understanding Dark Principles

Thousand light years ahead of me. But I’ve tried and have learned some great insights from the man. After failing to really get to the heart of the matter or the root of the Dark Principles by reading others – including Eric Hoffer’s, the True Believer, Henry David Thoreau’s writings on Civil Disobedience, and Thomas Hobbes Leviathan I was lead to really dig into Chomsky and some of his more well known books. But it wasn’t until two filmmakers spend four years of their lives compiling footage of Chomsky and then taking the time to sort of explain his explanation of things that the light went on and the structure or system that operates Dark Principles was made clear.

Chomsky's Insights on Power Dynamics

Of course Chomsky speaks mostly about big Corporations and Governments and the dark principles at play within them but in and through his clear and concise assessment of things I think we can discover a “form” that is transferable to all forces that try and control the world through dark principles rather than light. So this is how the process will look over the course of the year: So first, we will learn from Chomsky how there is a deliberate attempt by the most powerful (in all organizations) to keep the masses from being participants in matters and it does this by making potential participants spectators. In doing this, the most powerful can keep the masses out of their way so that they can continue to amass power, control and wealth. I believe that this is the Spirit that is alive and well in Evangelicalism which has essentially served to keep the few in control by making the masses spectators. How this is done in the faith is different than in corporations and governments but the principles are exactly the same. And we will learn what these principles are beginning next week.

Exploring Religious Contexts

Got a copy of a letter sent to a LDS General Authority. Its dated:

EMAIL FROM BURT IN SHINGLE SPRINGS

Dear Shawn,

On your last show (Episode 529), you challenged your Catholic brother on the interpretation of Matthew 23: 9. You may wish to consider the following explanation, which I found on page 310 of a Catholic publication entitled “The Question Box”:

THE TITLE “FATHER”

Why do Catholics call their priest “Father,” when Christ said: “Call no man your father upon the earth; for one is your Father who is in heaven” (Matt. xxiii.9)?

Catholics call their priest Father, because the priest is the ordinary minister of Baptism, which gives them the new birth of supernatural grace (John iii. 5).

Christ was not finding fault with the use of the terms “Rabbi” or “Father” in themselves, but was teaching us that God alone, the Father of us all, is the Source of all authority, and at the same time rebuking the Pharisees for their indomitable pride (Matt. xxiii. 2-10). It is absurd to interpret our Lord’s words literally, for we have a perfect right to call our fathers and teachers by their just title. The early Christians never interpreted these words literally, for St. Paul calls Timothy his son (Phil. Ii. 22; 1 Tim. i.2), and he calls himself the spiritual father of those whom he had converted. “For if you have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet not many fathers For in Christ Jesus by the Gospel, I have begotten you” (1 Cor. iv. 15; Cf. 1 John ii. 13). St. Jerome tells us that the fourth century monks in Palestine and Egypt called one another “Father.”

I am not a Catholic, Shawn, but I think the above explanation given is acceptable. When Jesus said, “Call no man your father,” do you think he forbade a son to address his flesh and blood father as such? Does that also mean one is forbidden to use the term “father” when addressing one who is considered to be God’s representative, that is, one who is given the ministry of reconciliation (II Cor. 5:18-20)? Was Jesus a strict grammarian regulating the use of terms? Or was He a “doctor” of the spirit? I think Jesus was forbidding the acknowledgment of fatherhood that obscures the fatherhood of God—nothing more! If we make no allowance for the concreteness and brevity of His phrases we reduce them to absurdity. But this is only my opinion.

That said, I understand where you are coming from, and I still think you’re the “best.” Burt from

The Practice of Fasting

What are your thoughts about fasting biblically? Our church does a corporate fast every January to give God the first of our year so He, they say, can bless us the rest of the year. It's not only for church but for us personally. I have participated for 3 years but now that I have grown spiritually this seems more like a work ordained by my church not me listening to God tell me when to fast. And like tithing, I feel like when God leads you he will tell you when and what to fast.

Experiences of Near-Death Encounters

E Christian sent me a YouTube Clip titled “Dr. Mary Neil: Raised from the Dead.” She was NOT an active Born Again Christian – sounded more Catholic than anything – and had a very casual relationship with God. Comfort, reassurance, spirit beings that greeted her, light, color, communication through the mind (God does need to speak English). No desire at all in any way to return (very good life btw). The ramifications of actions – “thirty thirty five times out.” She has since heard many many NDE from others – salt of the earth ranchers etc – all share similar threads. WHAT SHE DIDN’T COMMEND UPON! Denomination, doctrine, even the Christian faith itself (though she says Jesus was holding her under the water). Nothing about being worthy. Nothing about fear. All all all ABOUT love.

Controversy Surrounding the Mormon Tabernacle Choir

Raul A. Reyes, an attorney and member of the USA Today board of contributors, writes frequently for CNN Opinion. The views expressed here are his. (CNN)"I quit." A soprano with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir has resigned from the group over its acceptance of an invitation to perform at the Trump inauguration. In a letter sent to the choir president, Jan Chamberlin wrote, "Since 'the announcement,' I have spent several sleepless nights and days in turmoil and agony. I have reflected carefully on both sides of the issue, prayed a lot … and searched my soul." Chamberlin concluded that resigning was the right thing to do, because "I could never look myself in the mirror again with self-respect."

Chamberlin sees the choir's singing for Trump as a betrayal of Mormon values — and she's right. The President-elect, with his bigotry and braggadocio, personifies nearly everything the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or LDS, teaches against. Not only is the choir damaging its reputation by participating in the inauguration, it risks offending members of the increasingly diverse Mormon Church. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir is a national treasure renowned for the superb caliber of its singing. Dubbed "America's Choir" by Ronald Reagan, the group has performed at the inaugurals of Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan and both George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush. Along with Donny & Marie and Mitt Romney, members of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir are, collectively, some of the most visible Mormons in the world. Yet unlike the Osmonds and the former presidential candidate, the choir is an official arm of the LDS Church. It is this direct link to the church that makes the choir's decision to perform at Trump's inaugural troubling.

Consider that a core principle of Mormonism is the importance of religious freedom. That's because the founders of the church were harassed, driven from their homes and even ordered "exterminated" by US government officials on account of their beliefs. As such, much of the church's early history was defined by persecution. Fast forward to 2015 when Trump, in the aftermath of the San Bernardino shootings, called for a ban on Muslim immigration. The choir should recognize how offensive this was (and is) to many Mormons. In fact, after Trump's comments, the LDS Church put out a statement, reiterating the church's commitment to religious freedom and quoted Joseph Smith, who Mormons believe to be a prophet. "It is a love of liberty which inspires my soul," Smith said in 1843, "civil and religious liberty to the whole of the human race." And if stoking fears of faith wasn't enough, Trump's comments about Mexicans, immigrants and refugees should have been yet another reason for the choir to decline to participate in his inauguration.

The Mormon Tabernacle Choir Controversy

The United States "rapists" and drug dealers, but Mexico is home to 1.4 million LDS members. Seven percent of US Mormons are Latino, and Latinos are the fastest-growing group in the Church. Trump rails against illegal immigration, while many Mormons empathize with immigrants because of their own experiences serving as missionaries. And though Trump often demonized refugees, the Mormon Church launched an effort to help refugees earlier this year. "Their story is our story, not that many years ago," one Mormon leader said. It sends the wrong message to the church's members around the world that the choir would perform for a leader so at odds with LDS teachings — and let's not even get into Trump's bragging about sexual assault.

Division Within the LDS Church

Defending the choir's decision to sing at the inaugural, a columnist for Utah's Deseret News writes that, "We need to find a way to come together as a nation and look for those things that can bring us together rather than tear us apart. If the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's appearance at the inauguration can help in that process, then it will be well worth it." However, the choir's appearance will likely not be bringing people together. It has already caused a divide within the LDS Church. An online petition asking the choir not to perform at the inaugural has 31,000 signatures, many from LDS members. "Trump is a disrespectful person that does not exemplify what the church has taught me," writes one signer.

Principles Over Politics

This controversy is not a matter of politics or partisanship. It is about principles. Utah Mormon voters may have cast their votes for Trump because they saw him as the lesser of two evils. The choir's choice is different, as it calls their integrity into question. Ironically, a common maxim of the LDS faith is "CTR," or "choose the right." CTR is a tenet taught to all Mormon children. It is a reminder that life is about choices, and that one should always make the right choice. It seems a stretch to make the case that the choir is "doing the right" here. Instead, it has cast this idea aside in favor of a turn in the limelight. Trump's inauguration will be a sad day for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. By performing for this divisive bully, the choir will only tarnish its once impeccable reputation.

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Shawn Thank You for your reply to my last question! I have one more question that is probably a really stupid question so please forgive me for my stupidness but could you please give me your best definition of the Word?? I am trying to understand the word being alive, being God, being Jesus, being commandments to follow, being guidance in this life, putting it in our hearts, etc…Is there a definition to simplify it all so that I could make more sense of it? I am sure its not that hard to understand but for some reason I am kinda confused but I want to make sure I understand it right so I have it in my heart right! Thanks Again, Sandy

Dear Shawn,

Wishing you and your wife and family a very happy 2017. ?? We are well, here in Arizona… I just have a family question and I feel God placing it in my heart/life to deal with, but I'm not really sure how. This weekend, I listened to a sermon that prompted me to pray and ask God if there is anything in my life that may be keeping me from being written in the book of Life! I prayed to know if there are areas of forgiveness I need or anything I am doing wrong. I got two dreams, same theme…. My family. My uncle in particular, who is like the patriarch of the family, who everyone pretty much listens to.

My husband and I are the ONLY non-LDS of both our entire extended and immediate families; they are all hardcore mormons. We have been free from the Lds church and born-again the past few years. Our mothers in particular have had a hard time with our leaving, but they still "try" to accept us and act normal, secretly thinking WE are doomed to the pits of hell! Anyhow, my dreams were about my extended family/uncle in particular, and there was no clear cut answer or issue in my dream but I know it was about them, and to have two in a row I feel like, what am i supposed to do?

The things Ive tried to send them, my mother wont even watch/listen, and my brother still has many scales on his eyes and refuses to see…we have had conversations that just go nowhere, and it's really draining. My

Navigating LDS Beliefs and Family Dynamics

Brother completely scoffs at me, saying the LDs temple is a Luciferian initiation of sorts with masonic symbols and all-seeing eye and such in their temples. When I send Luke 20 about no marriage in heaven, I get the response, "the Bible isn't translated correctly!" About Jsmith's 50 different first visions, well, they see no problem there either. You know in Lds world, if you're not rich, you're basically considered not blessed or loved by God and leading a negative life. Well, my husband is a school teacher and we certainly are poor, so I feel like no one in my family respects us or takes us seriously, so why would God want ME to try?

Seeking Guidance Through Faith

I just wonder what is my responsibility. I just wonder why me. I've prayed many times for my family, my uncle in particular and for my brother, to have a near-death hell experience, or a trusted friend open their eyes to the Lds scam, or something! That may seem kinda harsh but I know souls are on the line and it's a serious matter! I've prayed for many many months for them, so it's not that I've been doing nothing. It's just from this point, what is right? To walk away from them knowing they were/are deceived and I want no part in it? To go to family things trying to be a good example but knowing they're insanely judging me? I can't get through to my own mother, she won't even LOOK at information because that's of course how they're programmed.

Sorry for my long email, and only if you have a moment to ponder over and write me, I totally understand. 🙂 Thank you dear brother always, many blessings, ~Crystal.

Engaging with LDS Beliefs and Challenges

Dear Shawn, I used to love listening to Walter Martin when he was alive, and now I love listening to you even more. My father-in-law died a Mormon and my sister-in-law and her family are still LDS, although some of her kids no longer practice. But I'm not allowed to talk to any of them about their faith. I tried sharing with the LDS Bishop who lives next door, but not since I brought up Joseph Smith's wives. I guess he figures I know too much.

I shared with my wife about what you teach now, but since she is more traditional than I am, she is more skeptical. She thinks that if what you say is true, God would have revealed it throughout church history, not just now. I reminded her of Martin Luther, but she just says I should see what our Baptist pastor thinks.

Anyway, I looked up the list of most frequently occurring words in the Bible, since I heard you talk about that, and came across this site you might like: http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Popular-Bible-Words.php. It shows every word's count. For example, on page 1 it has: JESUS – 953, FATHER – 944, NAME – 934, HEART – 925. I was surprised to learn that Faith was not listed on their list of the top 100 nouns in the Bible, even though I thought I heard you say it was right up there with "love" which occurs 333 times in the noun form, but 547 in all forms. Did I hear you wrong or were you referring to all the different words for Faith, like "believe, trust, confident, faithful," etc? If so, I would agree. I added up all such words and together they make 884, (if you include words like unbelief). And, if I include the word "doubt," as in "If ye have faith, and doubt not…", the total comes to 908.

Addressing Website Corrections

Anyway, what I really wanted to share with you are some corrections (mostly old links) that you might want to fix on your many websites:

• Old link: C.A.M.P.U.S. (Should now go to: campuschurch.tv)

• Old link: For more information: www.CAMPUSchurch.com

• Old link: Calvary Campus

• Old link: c-a-m-p-u-s.com

• Old link: C.A.M.P.U.S meets weekly

• 1st Bad link: Go to the store (Should go to: http://hotm.tv/product/born-mormon/)

• [2nd Bad link:

Exploring Faith and Doubt

http://hotm.tv/live/ These links are correct, but you can't click on them: Check out CAMPUS on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/watchcampus CAMPUSchurch.tv Website http://www.campuschurch.tv/

http://hotm.tv/support/ Consider adding a link to PayPal like you have at http://campuschurch.tv/donate http://campuschurch.tv/donate Hope this helps, as I can't afford to give money at this time. I thought, at least I could help in this way, and by praying and spreading the word. My boss at work is now watching you on YouTube. He said he might write you, too. His name is Tim Aagard. Now I'm going to share episode 444 with my Calvinist pastor. Pray for him! So glad God led me to you, John Nugent (Central CA) 209-752-4882

A Journey Through Belief and Questioning

Hi Shawn, So to break my story down: I met my pastor who was encouraging me to come to his church. He mentioned his partial Preterism views and how he can't share them with his congregation for obvious reasons. I returned to your views on full Preterism. I then started questioning the bible. I thought: if this was for back then and not today then my next question was: what scriptures (if any) are perpetual? Is grace perpetual? So I'd been looking for scriptures that could apply to me.

Then I felt abandoned and lost at sea. What could I hold onto? All my fundamentals were drifting away. And what does it matter how I live my life: Whether I go to hell or heaven. Total reconciliation means God will purge me of all my baggage. …And I believe in Jesus… At least that's what I keep telling myself… Just in case. Then I feel disillusioned by so much in Christianity. The tithing bull crap… the fact that 95% of money that is received stays in the church. It doesn't go out to those in need. The demons behind everything. The witchcraft in Harry Potter, the force in Star Wars, the witch in Lord of the Rings… I mean come on: it's just art. It's a fun movie. It's not wrecking our kids and turning them into warlocks!!!

Wrestling with Christian Practices

And exorcisms? Why does it seem that exorcisms only happen in the church? The rest of the world seems to be getting on fine without demons? … Or perhaps they're secretly there? And how about healings?! Maybe it works maybe it doesn't. I'm still to see if it works. If God is there why doesn't he reveal himself. At least to his sons and daughters, instead of me striving to just get a touch from God. Why can't it be easy! What if I work really hard by praying and fasting for 10 weeks and nothing happens. Maybe nothing would happen because God does not desire a sacrifice of fasting…

Hosea 6:6 "For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings." Acknowledgement of God. I want to acknowledge God – as much as it will do. I mean we don't truly know if God is there. We can reason, use logic, but at the end of the day it's a faith thing. We don't see God yet we believe in him. There's universal principles though. Like the law of gravity there are structures God has set up like sowing and reaping. I think universal principles are all we really have (if we can find them).

Even with all the contradictions in the bible, the disputed authors etc. I find the design of it hard to ignore. The patterns. The numbers. 12 tribes… 12 disciples and apostles… 40 years etc. All coming to a beautiful climax in revelation. But I still feel lost out here. I hate how the Christians I live with are so indoctrinated with their beliefs of demons etc. I don't want to challenge it though since it just causes disputes and I wouldn't want them or anyone to be where I am right now. Existential crises are not fun and I feel like it's been going on for a long time.

I've started to look into Ecclesiastes ideology. This idea that everything is meaningless or like vapor. And it is. No one will remember me once I die. Do you know anything about your great great uncle? All his hopes and aspirations died with him. I do not get to see what happens after me. What's the point of this life? We are all born to die. And none of us truly know what happens after this life! We work and toil to feed our mouths – and are destined for the unknown. It could be heaven… And if it is… my faith in Jesus will save me…

Perhaps we're all part of one

Understanding the Worthwhile Life

Life and the fear of the Lord may make the journey better. Even Jesus mentioned this. He said that a man decided to build bigger barns for all his wealth but God said he was a fool and he would die that night. This is how it will be for all those that store up for themselves earthly treasures but are not rich toward God. What made the man a fool was that he did not acknowledge God. What makes this life worthwhile is acknowledging and praising God. I know this because I know what God wants…

Worship in Spirit and Truth

John 4:23 "But an hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth. Yes, the Father wants such people to worship Him." God wants people who worship Him in spirit and in truth. Spirit means the real you and truth means being authentic and genuine. This is how we become rich toward God, by thanking him and honoring in our daily life genuinely. No need to put on a big show and dance. The Israelites did that for a few thousand years. No, God wants you and I to be straight up with him. That is how we become rich toward God.

Anyway, I wish there was an easy answer but it seems God has hidden himself behind a cloud of faith. If Solomon was right then all I can do is accept my lot in life and thank God genuinely. Anyway, this is what I'm going through. I feel like every time I get a hold of what this life is all about … I discover that I was wrong and end up with more questions. I wish God was close to me. I wish he would talk to me and be my friend. Not a silent far off friend but real. I envy those that are so happy and clappy in their mega churches. They are so indoctrinated that it is all they know. It gives them a structure. A firm pillar to rest upon. They will go through life well. Get a job, marry, kids, pay their tithe, die, and in a few generations you'll hardly cross anyone's mind.

Seeking Clarity and Connection

I remember feeling the presence of God. It's a warm assurance. Sometimes with a joy that bubbles up. I'd like to have that again. I'm confused when I hear about children in India visiting heaven. I'm confused at the fact that God will give gems from heaven to people. So maybe it's real. But then it's like… It's not a reality to me. I'd like that reality. It sounds fun. I must rise out of this pit. I must get out and live my life. Because these types of questions only make me depressed at the futility of life.

The way out is exercise and eating healthy. That helps a lot. Gets your brain thinking straight.

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts.

Cheers!