Judah and Tamar: A Complex Encounter

Welcome Prayer Song Silence

Genesis 39.5-end July 23rd 2023 I will call upon the Lord who is WORTHY . . . to be praised.

Not by design but this notion will play into our conversation today.

So, its been three weeks but three weeks ago Judah went in unto his daughter in law Tamar who played the prostitute as a means to get a child. She took his personal articles until he paid her the lamb or goat as promised and we left off with Judah sending the promised lamb with his friend the Adullamite to Tamar to make the payment.

Let’s reread where we left off at verse 21 of chapter 38:

21 Then he asked the men of that place, saying, Where is the harlot, that was openly by the way side? And they said, There was no harlot in this place.

Understanding Cultural Contexts

This is that passage where Judah asks where the “Zonah” was, but his friend the Adullamite replies that there was no “KED-AY-SHAW” there – with zonah speaking to a common allowable unmarried prostitute but a kedayshaw referring to a temple prostitute, male or female, who represented pagan gods and relations with them. To the latter, Paul wrote to the believers at Corinth and said

1st Corinthians 6:15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.

The harlot that Paul was describing here to the Bride of that day were men and women who would used their bodies in the worship of these false deities in temple worship. Specifically, if a man came to worship the Deity of Diana, a female temple prostitutes would receive his seed and if a woman wanted to worship the Deity she would receive the pagan God’s seed through the male harlot. All part of the sex magic exchange in that day and which continues on today through groups.

I’m sure that male on males were allowed too but it’s a conjecture – haven’t looked it up. Why the Adullamite here said, “Kedayshaw” and Judah said “zonah” could have simply been because of a misunderstanding in language as the Adullamite was a Canaanite. (Verse 22)

22 And he (The Adullamite) returned to Judah, and said, I cannot find her; and also the men of the place said, that there was no harlot in this place.

Complexity in Judah's Reaction

Here, his own people used Kedayshaw too. (verse 23)

23 And Judah said, Let her take it to her, lest we be shamed: behold, I sent this kid, and thou hast not found her.

The language is tough here but the “her” here refers to the “zonah” and the meaning seems to be, “Let the zonah keep my ring cord and staff because if we keep stirring this pot she might rise up and shame me – and, hey, I did send the kid as promised!” So, Judah thinks he had a one off with a zonah who took his signet ring and cord and staff, and that she had disappeared. But look out as our crimes tend to find us, right?

24 And it came to pass about three months after, that it was told Judah, saying, Tamar thy daughter in law hath played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by whoredom. And Judah said, Bring her forth, and let her be burnt.

Significance of the Ketubah

Now, remember last week and our talk about the Ketubah? Well, as a widow to two of Judah’s sons, and Judah ordering her to live as a widow in her own father's house (which is why she continued to dress as one) and that she was to do this UNTIL his son Shelah would be of marriageable age and therefore, she was at this time considered an engaged woman (or the future wife of Shelah).

Therefore, as an engaged woman she was viewed, at least by Judah, as an adulteress, and burning, it seems, was anciently the punishment for this crime. As the patriarch or head of his own family, according to the custom of those times and before the law, he had the magisterial authority over all of the branches of his own family, so he is acting here in this capacity.

Remember, in that day it was all about the seed of Israel, continuity of genealogical lines and the like. And in this we can see how harlotry was allowed and openly spoken about but how adultery was punished by a most violent deathSeparation from God—now overcome. Physical death remains, but it no longer separates us from life with God.! If you didn’t hear the message four weeks back,

The Story of Judah, Tamar, and Birthrights

When Tamar was brought forth, she sent to her father-in-law, saying, by the man, whose these are, am I with child: and she said, discern, I pray thee, whose are these, the signet, and bracelets, and staff? Gotta love this, right?

26 And Judah acknowledged them, and said, She hath been more righteous than I; because that I gave her not to Shelah my son. And he knew her again no more. Because Judah had relations with her, the twins were deemed his and she was deemed his wife. It is thought by some scholars that the twins she bore “replaced” the two sons Judah had lost.

When Judah states that “she is more righteous than I” what he seems to be saying is, “I caused her to go out and play the harlot by not giving her my son Shelah as promised and then I also went out in unto her and created the twins. It is admittedly an interesting statement as Tamar knew his identity when she allowed him into her tent and he went in unawares. But I think the basis for the statement was essentially, “I have caused this.”

The Significance of Birthrights

27 And it came to pass in the time of her travail, that, behold, twins were in her womb. 28 And it came to pass, when she travailed, that the one put out his hand: and the midwife took and bound upon his hand a scarlet thread, saying, This came out first.

The fact that the midwife took the time to do this illustrates the import of birthright in that day. Had she not done this, Pharez would have had the right of primogeniture to the prejudice of his elder brother, Zarah. But to throw another wrench into things, the Messiah would not come through the line of Zarah whose wrist thread proved primogeniture but through Pharez who was born (completely) first!

29 And it came to pass, as he drew back his hand, that, behold, his brother came out: and she said, How hast thou broken forth? this breach be upon thee: therefore, his name was called Pharez. In other words, the name Pharez in Hebrew means “breach.”

30 And afterward came out his brother, that had the scarlet thread upon his hand: and his name was called Zarah. And at this point we come back to the story of Joseph who was sold into slavery by His brothers and this story will continue to unfold all the way out until the last chapter of Genesis!

Joseph in Egypt

So, chapter 39 where we continue with the fantastic story of Joseph – here we go:

1 And Joseph was brought down to Egypt; and Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, an Egyptian, bought him of the hands of the Ishmeelites, which had brought him down thither. 2 And YAHAVA was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian. 3 And his master saw that YAHAVA was with him, and that YAHAVA made all that he did to prosper in his hand. 4 And Joseph found grace in his sight, and he served him: and he made him overseer over his house, and all that he had he put into his hand. 5 And it came to pass from the time that he had made him overseer in his house, and over all that he had, that the YAHAVA blessed the Egyptian's house for Joseph's sake; and the blessing of the YAHAVA was upon all that he had in the house, and in the field. 6 And he left all that he had in Joseph's hand; and he knew not ought he had, save the bread which he did eat. And Joseph was a goodly person, and well favoured.

7 And it came to pass after these things, that his master's wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me. 8 But he refused, and said unto his master's wife, Behold, my master wotteth not what is with me in the house, and he hath committed all that he hath to my hand; 9 There is none greater in this house than I; neither hath he kept back any thing from me but thee, because thou art his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sinMissing the mark of faith and love—no punishment, just lost growth or peace. against God? 10 And it came to pass, as she spake to Joseph day by day, that he hearkened not unto her, to lie by her, or…

The Story of Joseph in Egypt

to be with her.

11 And it came to pass about this time, that Joseph went into the house to do his business; and there was none of the men of the house there within. 12 And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out. 13 And it came to pass, when she saw that he had left his garment in her hand, and was fled forth, 14 That she called unto the men of her house, and spake unto them, saying, See, he hath brought in an Hebrew unto us to mock us; he came in unto me to lie with me, and I cried with a loud voice: 15 And it came to pass, when he heard that I lifted up my voice and cried, that he left his garment with me, and fled, and got him out. 16 And she laid up his garment by her, until his YAHAVA came home. 17 And she spake unto him according to these words, saying, The Hebrew servant, which thou hast brought unto us, came in unto me to mock me: 18 And it came to pass, as I lifted up my voice and cried, that he left his garment with me, and fled out. 19 And it came to pass, when his master heard the words of his wife, which she spake unto him, saying, After this manner did thy servant to me; that his wrath was kindled. 20 And Joseph's master took him, and put him into the prison, a place where the king's prisoners were bound: and he was there in the prison. 21 But the YAHAVA was with Joseph, and shewed him mercy, and gave him favour in the sight of the keeper of the prison. 22 And the keeper of the prison committed to Joseph's hand all the prisoners that were in the prison; and whatsoever they did there, he was the doer of it. 23 The keeper of the prison looked not to any thing that was under his hand; because the YAHAVA was with him, and that which he did, the YAHAVA made it to prosper.

Joseph's Journey

Alright, back to verse 1

1 And Joseph was brought down to Egypt; and Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, an Egyptian, bought him of the hands of the Ishmeelites, which had brought him down thither. Three times in scripture Potipher is called an Egyptian – but he could have been a Canaanite in the service of Pharaoh – I say this because it is a conjecture made by several scholars. If Potipher was an Egyptian, we could say that this was the starting point in which the Nation of Israel was put into bondage – or we might wait until after Joseph dies at the end of Genesis which is the traditional view – but we might see the imprisonment of Joseph as a type for what is to come.

2 And the YAHAVA was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian. 3 And his master saw that the YAHAVA was with him, and that YAHAVA made all that he did to prosper in his hand. Obviously, you might have noticed that I have incorporated the findings disclosed two weeks ago and I personally will teach from this view but if you are not in agreement, you are welcome to your view and continue to just call him the Lord or Jehovah or Yahay. Not me.

4 And Joseph found grace in his (Potiphers) sight, and he (Joseph) served him: and he (Potipher) made him overseer over his house, and all that he had he put into his hand. 5 And it came to pass from the time that he had made him overseer in his house, and over all that he had, that YAHAVA blessed the Egyptian's house for Joseph's sake; and the blessing of YAHAVA was upon all that he had in the house, and in the field. 6 And he left all that he had in Joseph's hand; and he knew not ought he had, save the bread which he did eat. And Joseph was a goodly person, and well favored.

Joseph as Overseer

In verses 4-6 we see that Moses emphasizes the fact that Potipher made Joseph “Overseer over His House” and that all that he had was put in Joseph’s hand. This is an interesting set up. And we learn an awful lot – if it is to be considered as truth about Joseph here.

Joseph's Beauty and Temptation

That “Joseph was a goodly person, and well favored,” literally means what the same words meant when assigned to Rachel, his mother, a person beautiful in person and beautiful in his countenance. Interestingly, the Persian prophets really outdo themselves on who can better describe Yusef in more beautiful terms. Mohammed spends the twelfth chapter of the Koran entirely on Yusef and represents him as a perfect beauty, and the most accomplished of mortals.

In fact, in what is called Surat 7 verse 32, Potipher's wife is given a name (Zuleekha). And according to their script, she invited forty ladies of her court to dine with her and put knives in their hands and oranges to cut and then invited Yusef to enter the room and when they saw him they were so struck with admiration and became so befuddled that instead of cutting their oranges they cut and hacked their own hands, cried out in Aramaic, "O God! this is not a human being, this is none other than a glorious angel!" Two of the finest poems in the Persian language were written by the poets Jamy and Nizamy on the subject of Joseph and his mistress, Zuleekha. These poems represent Joseph as the most beautiful and pious of men and Zuleekha as the most chaste, virtuous, and excellent of women – until she laid eyes on Yusef wherein she became a slave to her passions.

The Historical and Religious Interpretation

A poet in the 1300’s named Hafiz chose to apologize for her conduct in the following words:

"I understand, from the daily increasing beauty which Joseph possessed,
How love tore away the veil of chastity from Zuleekha."

The mythology of Joseph and Potipher’s wife only grows from here. The story is so important to Islam that few seem to test its veracity with historical documents. To me, this is a perfect example of biblical text serving as the basis for religious mythos.

Anyway, back to the Bible.

7 And it came to pass after these things, that his master’s wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me.

Boy, have we got some seduction here, right? For me in Joseph, we have a perfect type of the Messiah where the writer of Hebrews says:

Hebrews 4:15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

And how does Joseph respond to the invitation?

8 But he refused, and said unto his master's wife, Behold, my master doesn’t know what is with me in the house, and he hath committed all that he hath to my hand; 9 There is none greater in this house than I; neither hath he kept back any thing from me but thee, because thou art his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?

Principles of Resistance and Gratitude

Here Joseph gives two impressive reasons for his refusal to lie with Potipher’s wife:

1. Gratitude to his master, to whom he owed all that he had and who had entrusted Him with overseeing His house, and
2. His fear of YAHAVA in whose sight he says this would be a “great wickedness and sin against.”

Again, what moved and motivated Joseph to be strong was gratitude. In my estimation, we have a picture of Christ (as the Master) and those in whose hands He left His house / Bride or Church (meaning the apostles) and their fear of the Living God.

Today, I suppose we could apply the lesson to pastors who claim to be overseers of His church and their responsibility to Yeshua and Yahava until He comes to take her and if I was a futurist, I would certainly hold Joseph up as the example to follow. In other words, anyone who is in the place of running the house or Church of Christ ought to consider the standard of Joseph, right? It’s a fantastic model. However, I would extrapolate the model out today to all souls and use it this way:

Anyone who is grateful to the Master would seek to never do anything that would hurt His name, His love, or His victory over sin death even of His father has been fully reconciled to the world. Herein lies the discovery I made as a 36 year man at the side of the road in Southern California. Where Religion tried to tell me that I ought to

Unconditional Love and Allegiance

I was grateful for the organization and the things it had offered, but no institution came without a price or exacted a demand. It’s love was always conditional. So, I found myself unable to comply or give devotion or respect to anyone anywhere – until I came face to face with a Being that accepted me as I was, forgave me as I was, loved me unconditionally, paid the price for my sin and then expended patience, kindness, and love toward me without fail. Then the gratitude for such merited compliance to His wishes.

I submit that even the most hardened criminals, like Jean Val Jean when confronted with the loving priest who protected him, will ultimately give allegiance – or at least try – when they are shown true unconditional, selfless, sacrificial love. So, allegiances to cultures that will cast you out if you're different? Never? To the Boy Scouts of America who demand you wear their uniform? Never. To Mormonism, the demands of employers, parents, or anyone or anything incapable of showing ultimate unconditional love – zero devotion back in the day.

Encountering Genuine Love

And then I met Him – in my heart on that fateful day. And I found genuine love. Acceptance. Longsuffering. And like Joseph, I began – at that point began, in the face of His love (because He loved me first) to care – about how I lived, how I spoke, and from a place of extreme gratitude for others now, like the Mormons etc. That is how He works in us – or as John says in 1st John 4:19

“We love him, because he first loved us.”

In my life, everything around me said, “Love me and I will love you.” On that roadside, as an egregious sinner, lost, angry, broken and having caused destruction all around me – I met a God who loved me first –

Joseph's Allegiance

Just like Potipher first loved Joseph, who was nothing but a slave. And in that position His master put everything in His hands. So his allegiance was deep, abiding, respectful and truly grateful – along with the fact, and perhaps endorsed and supported by the fact that He also respected and loved the living God and did not want to sin against Him by taking another man’s wife. I submit to you that this life for all people is a proving ground – the same way we prove or test or temper steel.

But instead of making ourselves stronger and unbendable the human proving ground seems aimed at serving to help us submit, to bend, to humble ourselves before our God and to learn to repeatedly do His will from a heartfelt place of gratefulness, love and devotion. Because of this, we are often presented with issues that our character needs to confront as a means to grow and choose Him and others over ourselves. Joseph was no different.

Interestingly, ingratitude is far more severe an action in terms of moral turpitude than revenge. In revenge at least, we are exacting punishment because we have been harmed. But ingratitude – look out. That is showing indifference to those who bless us. So remember that we have read that YAHAVA favored Joseph, right? So back to the seduction.

10 And it came to pass, as she spake to Joseph day by day, that he hearkened not unto her, to lie by her, or to be with her.

That passage says so much when it comes to the temptation to lie with another person's spouse. For starters, Joseph has plainly said that He could not do this to His master or to God. But day by day she continued to speak to him – to flirt, to invite, to encourage the relationship to grow. I have a Ph.D. in extramarital relationships. I know how they occur and unfold and the language and exchanges that are involved in most of them (if not all).

I'm not kidding. In some there is a mutual attraction that works like insta-magnetism, in others, there is one party on the run the other party on the prowl. A seducer and a seductee. Sometimes things seem to occur by and through circumstance, but I tend to believe that there is usually intentionality on the part of

The Predatory Nature and Resistance in Relationships

What Moses writes in verse 10 is a recitation of the proposition and the resistance. Listen to it again –

10 And it came to pass, as she spake to Joseph day by day, that he hearkened not unto her, to lie by her, or to be with her.

Listen to the layout here: as she spoke to Joseph day by day, that he hearkened not unto her, to lie with her, or to be with her. So, we are able to see the predator's attempts or approach and the prey’s reactions and resistances.

First, she spoke. And most, if not all affairs begin with words – unless we are talking about some aberrational one-night stand that occurs from a drunken sloppy exchange. But enticing words are almost always proffered to draw the other into a place of confidence – usually first guised as friendship.

When one person is interested, the words exchanged reveal it. When the other is too, their responses send a message – clearly. Can be looks. But words confirm everything. The words can be exchanged for days, weeks, months, or years and they are used to draw one or both into each other's confidence, trust, and esteem.

The Impact of Daily Attention

Smooth talkers, right? Then we read, “day by day.” A woman or a man is not feeling loved or attracted by their spouse and someone takes the time to show attention. Day by day. But Joseph was armed with gratitude and love for His Master and His God – and refused to let her words draw him in but listen to how Moses puts it: that he hearkened not unto her (in what way), to lie with her, or to be with her.

And this brings it to the next level of an extramarital relationship – they almost all start with words – just conversations, just a text, just some emails – and these either go to immediate sex (to lie with) or the stage before which is “to be with.” There is usually a time between words and sex where the two choose to be with each other.

It may be at a group event, it might be alone, but it will be hoped for, planned out, or anticipated by one or both parties. Joseph was smart to refuse her words, refuse to lie with her OR to be with her.

The Danger of Slippery Slopes

The slope is super slippery because once people let these exchanges into their lives you don’t typically reverse them. They move forward from wherever they stopped no matter how much time of self-restraint goes by. Talking does not generally become not talking – until everything falls apart and the reality and damage is done. Being with each other will not reverse to not being with each other once the first time of being together occurs. Sex will not revert to just being together or just talking. The river of adultery only flows in one direction.

In the end, one of the best defenses against adultery is gratitude which is always present in the selfless and rarely present in the selfish. GRATEFUL to their spouse and so GRATEFUL TO GOD they are FEARFUL of offending Him.

I’m speaking on this here because I understand it personally, I’ve talked with numerous couples who have faced it, and I have heard all the reasoning and excuses used which typically strike at the branches and not the root. But I am speaking to it mostly because I hate – detest divorce and side with the kids needs over the needs of both parents in most cases.

If an affair has occurred in your marriage and children are involved I cannot more strongly encourage you to work things out. I understand all the factors, and I am speaking generally as there are reasons to divorce today outside of adultery.

But I would add that if the divorce is happening only because of adultery that a couple might work as hard as humanly possible to break-open their relationship, find out why the faithlessness and ingratitude occurred and work through it whenever possible.

I do not judge divorced people – ever – and do not condemn divorced people, but my advice to those considering it who have children especially is to get one or both parents to examine their gratitude toward all things, to humble themselves, and change. So verse 11

11 And it came to pass about this time, that Joseph went into the house to do his business; and there was none of the men of the house there within.

Perhaps a fatal flaw, perhaps an oversight, but all of his virtue and

The Accusation Against Joseph

12 And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got himself out.

What is the saying, hell has no fury like a woman scorned. This is a woman scorned and if she couldn’t have him she would ruin him.

Potiphar's Wife's Accusation

13 And it came to pass, when she saw that he had left his garment in her hand, and was fled forth, 14 That she called unto the men of her house, and spake unto them, saying, See, he hath brought in an Hebrew unto us to mock us; he came in unto me to lie with me, and I cried with a loud voice:

Notice how Potiphar's wife throws huge blame on her husband, whom we may reasonably believe she was not really in love with as she says to the men of her house, He has brought in a Hebrew to mock us. Do you remember when Isaac and Rebecca were spotted sporting together back in chapter 26 and Abimilech the King of the Philistines was lead to believe that they were siblings and was furious when he saw them sporting? Well, the word, translated “sporting” there is the same word used here from Potiphar's wife, when she says that he has brought this Hebrew in to mock us. Bottom line – she was saying that her husband had brought the Hebrew in to sport with her. There is some conjecture that Potiphar was what is known today as a cuckold – or a spouse who enjoys watching their partner engage sexually with others. Whether he was or not is up to debate but this was the accusation by his wife.

The Resulting Consequences

15 And it came to pass, when he heard that I lifted up my voice and cried, that he left his garment with me, and fled, and got him out. 16 And she laid up his garment by her, until his Lord came home. 17 And she spake unto him according to these words, saying, The Hebrew servant, which thou hast brought unto us, came in unto me to mock me: 18 And it came to pass, as I lifted up my voice and cried, that he left his garment with me, and fled out. 19 And it came to pass, when his master heard the words of his wife, which she spake unto him, saying, After this manner did thy servant to me; that his wrath was kindled. 20 And Joseph's master took him, and put him into the prison, a place where the king's prisoners were bound: and he was there in the prison.

The word prison literally translates to “Round house,” and it is believed that it refers to the actual shape of the prison there in Egypt.

21 But YAHAVA was with Joseph, and shewed him mercy, and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison.

Joseph's Prosperity in Adversity

Now listen to verses 22

22 And the keeper of the prison committed to Joseph's hand all the prisoners that were in the prison; and whatsoever they did there, he was the doer of it. 23 The keeper of the prison looked not to any thing that was under his hand; because the YAHAVA was with him, and that which he did, YAHAVA made it to prosper.

It seems that wherever Joseph went – and whatever happened to Him along the way:

Being sold into slavery Being put into Potiphar’s house Going to prison

YAHAVA was with Him and He prospered. We will stop here.

Questions/Comments PRAYER