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SILENCE
Okay. We left off with Paul setting the stage to discuss the idea of submitting – and he will talk about this in four ways beginning at verse 21, where he says
1 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Then he will speak of submitting with reference to wives to husbands, then children to parents and then slaves to masters (or what we would call employees to employers).
Last week we talked about how the term submitting in the New Testament includes some attached ideas:
That it stands in opposition to vainglory, meaning that the choice to submit is based in humility and cannot include the idea that someone is superior to others.
We also pointed out that because Paul speaks of submission this does not mean that those who are being submitted to have any right to any smattering of authoritarian abuse.
So let’s work through our passages today which begin with
Ephesians 5.21-end
Milk
December 1st 2019
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
And then he says:
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
So, to make sure I keep the purpose and tone of this teaching in place, Paul first says at verse 21 to all the believers then:
“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Why? Because to maintain an open spirit of healthy subordination in place among believers is a fantastic way to keep people unified and unification was key to the Bride remaining untouched from the menacing outside world.
Remember, Paul is not appealing to people through a system of the world nor is he telling them to follow after him or anyone else.
He is speaking to Christians – followers and believers and disciples of Christ Jesus. They proclaimed – all of them – the group, the men, the women, the children of couples, employers and employees, to have made Him their King.
And listen closely – If Jesus is truly LORD of someone’s life – their life is not their own.
Remember what Paul said in 1st Corinthians 6:19-20
What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.
This position is foundational to any genuine Christian. We are bought with a price by Christ the King. He is our sovereign. He gives us our identity and we all submit to Him and His ways, which are not . . .
Vainglorious
Proud
Fleshly
Contentious
But . . .
Peaceable
Humble
Kind
Considerate
Patient
Loving
Respectful
Good
This overall attitude is foundational to everything we do, every role we play as humans on earth.
Understand this . . . and the things Paul says next are more palatable.
Additionally, what Paul says next MUST be taken in context. What I mean by this is Paul writes this to the Churches then for a reason! Or reasons!
What are some of the reasons?
First, there was probably an issue present with the believing couples. Perhaps the woman, having been emancipated by the Spirit were not allowing their husbands to treat them as second class citizens anymore.
Perhaps the men wanted to continue to treat their wives as second class citizens still.
Perhaps divorces were on the rise, or women – whom the Gospel emancipated, were having to learn to manage their liberation within marriage.
What we do know is Christianity gave all people liberty – but in that day and age, in the nascent years of the earliest church, there was a need for order – so as to not implode – and this is the order Paul is laying out.
We must also notice that this order is FAR FAR FAR more beneficial to women then their standing before. Progress takes time, peace and unity was necessary, and so Paul sets forward these things to ensure that the believers in that day would stand united and resistant to external attack or internal division.
And after telling them to submit to each other he says: (verse 22)
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
The literal translation reads:
“The wives(!) to your own husbands subject yourselves, as to the Lord,”
Before we explain that verse I want to point out that Paul has told all people to submit to each other.
And Paul tells all men to submit to the Lord.
And He tells children to submit to their parents. And He tells employees to submit to their employers.
Peter added the following to servant (and/or employees) saying
1st Peter 2:18 Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.
19 For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.
20 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.
21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:
22 Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:
23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:
24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.
Paul also says in Romans 13 that Christians are to be subject (submissive – same Greek word HupoTasso) to Governments.
Then Peter seconds that in 1Pe 2:13 saying
“Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme or unto governors
From that we know that secular anarchy and refusing to pay taxes and such are not in harmony with Paul’s epistles.
Another interesting insight relative to Hupotasso comes from 1st Corinthians 15 where Paul writes about Jesus and God the Father, and after speaking of Jesus second coming Paul writes:
24 Then cometh the end, when he (Jesus) shall have delivered up the kingdom to God, even the Father; when he shall have put down all rule and all authority and power.
25 For he (Jesus) must reign, till he (God) hath put all enemies under his feet.
26 The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.
27 For he (God) hath put all things under his feet. But when he (God) saith all things are put under him (God), it is obvious that he (God) is excepted, which did put all things under him. (God)
28 And when all things shall be subdued unto him,(God) then shall the Son also himself be subject (hupotasso – submitted) unto him (God) that put all things under him, that God may be all in all.
Titus 3:1 concurs with this, saying:
Titus 3:1 Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work,
2 To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.
We know that James says to believers:
James 4:7 Submit (huppotasso) yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Finally, Peter writes
1st Peter 5:5 Likewise, ye younger, submit (huppotasso) yourselves unto the elder. (AND THEN HE ADDS, BRINGING THE WHOLE POINT OF SUBJECTION BACK UPON ITSELF, SAYING)
“Yea, all of you be subject (huppotasso) one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.”
Bottom line – submission is incumbent upon every single being to ever walk the earth in the name of Christ.
There is an order, a hierarchy present in scripture – even stated. Paul lays it out succinctly in 1 Corinthians 11:3 saying:
“I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”
GOD, who does not submit to any
CHRIST, who fully submits to God
MAN, who submits to Christ
WIFE, who submits to her husband.
Top down, not bottom up.
I say this because God is worthy of being submitted to by Christ. And Christ is worthy to being submitted to by every husband. Therefore, a husband must be worthy of being submitted to by his wife.
Notice the wording of verse 22:
“The wives(!) to your own husbands subject yourselves, as to the Lord,”
Now in some translations it reads, “Wives be in subjection to” but this translation is improper and should read, “let wives be subject to their own husbands,” denoting choice and freedom in the “let them,” rather than in the “Be in.”
All things relative to the faith are by choice and gentle suggestion – whether it be Jesus subjection to the Father, man in subjection to Jesus, or a wife’s subjection to her own husband.
Then we note that her subjection to her husband is akin to being in subjection to the Lord Himself.
And this is the thinking behind all aspects of Christian subjection – it is NOT to the humans involved – it is subjection to the Lord.
This is where the humility comes into play. And the submission – because to submit to one another is to submit to the Lord, and for children to submit to parents it is in submission to the Lord, and when a wife chooses to submit to her husband it is because she is submitting to the Lord, and when we submit to governments, we are submitting to the Lord – get it?
This is the basis for what Paul says in Colossians 3:22-24 to slaves that were Christian, and it is the advice that we give to employees of employers, as he said:
“Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”
Again, the key to this is a humble heart before God, dying to vainglory and hubris and not thinking of oneself better than another.
We do all things as unto the Lord Jesus Christ and in consideration of Him and His will, His teachings, His ways.
He preached patience, longsuffering, forgiveness, compassion, love for all people, but especially spouses, Christians and those closest to us – not to mention enemies.
When we think about it this advice to wives of believing couples in that day and age is completely reasonable. Not only that, it is orderly – which was essential to maintaining unity within the battered ranks of the Bride. But it goes way beyond utility and hierarchy and order. It ingeniously addresses gender specific needs. Let me explain.
When we look back to the Creation, God created man’s body from the red clay, breathed into Him the Breath of Life and Man became a living soul.
As a completed body with a soul created by the Spirit of God, God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the Man and took from him a rib and the better Hebrew says that God “builded up the rib” to a woman, and brought her to the Man.
In these descriptions, the man is not called adam and the woman are not called eve, but man and woman.
Later the two are called ADAM, and then Adam calls the woman Eve.
In and through all of this, we discover that ADAM – man and woman – are of the same material origins.
The man who became Adam was from the dirt, and the woman who was called Eve, came from Adam, far more refined material that was previously given life by God himself BEFORE she was created – but she was created from the BODY of the Man, from a rib, that was taken from Him – a living biological piece of his living, perfect body.
Now here Paul gives some specific instructions to both wives and husbands. And the instructions are really simple and simmered down. To wives he gives two instructions which are couched in four total verses but two specifically:
In verse 22 he says to WIVES!
“Let them be subject to their own husbands.”
And in verse 33 he adds:
“see that the wives revere their husbands.”
The basis of these two directives Paul gives wives toward their husbands can be found in one word – RESPECT.
Respect your husbands. That is VERY pointed language. Respect them by submitting to them in the cause of the Lord and revere them. Be in “awe” of them.
Now think about this: When something has something come from them, that something wants that which came out from them to respect them.
We have this desire of our children. To respect us. They came from us and when they disrespect us it is very hurtful and shameful and unsettling. They ought to show their parents honor and respect, right?
We’ll who birthed women? God did through the MAN later called ADAM.
And so it is genetically biologically reasonable for a man to desire His wife to respect him. To show him deference, to submit to his leadership AS A FOLLOWER of Christ – and even when he is not.
A wife does this in the name of the Lord, in the name of love, which is always sacrificial, and aimed at higher purposes and causes.
I would imagine that it was the fall that created all the difficulties in marriage, and in the need for these apostolic directives to be given to married couples in that day.
Prior to I assume there was zero competition between the genders as they were seen as co-human beings.
It seems that the fall brought out the selfishness in Man and the related disrespect from women.
Christ, the second Adam, restored this state spiritually to the hearts of believers and I suggest that what he describes here to wives and husbands was automatic and perfect in the garden pre-fall, meaning, Adam probably loved Eve with all He had and Eve probably respected Adam with the same.
Until Satan crept in.
But to be respected is what men naturally want – for their wives to help (as a help-meet taken from his side) him feel like the man, like he is capable, like she is proud of him and trusts his abilities – essentially like he is truly kind of the Castle.
It’s a heavy task – given the subject matter – and it takes a woman’s reliance on the Lord to assist her – as much reliance as it takes a Christian to forgive an enemy.
So this advice is not misogynistically driven – in the least. It is an attitude expected of all Christians – including wives and not exclusively to wives.
We note that there are four verses where wives are mentioned and the logic behind them submitting to and reverencing their husbands.
Paul spends almost double the SPACE talking to the husbands on how they are to be toward their wives.
Again, this is not only for utilitarian needs. Go back to the creation of women.
They came into being by being taken out of the Man – extracted from the home base.
And the interpersonal genetic needs of something take from someone or some where is to feel loved – to be welcomed in at all times, to be adored so she knows she is safe.
I have spent well over a decade watching girls and womans volleyball. Thousands of hours in gyms watching tournaments and games and practices of females. They are by nature insecure, they are constantly cuddling themselves up in blankets and furry flannels and fluffy shoes as means to wrap themselves in security.
They need to feel loved, and secure and protected. And Paul makes this clear to husbands. They are to provide their wives with not only what will bring peace and unity but what the wives actually need – to feel loved.
And wives are to provide what their husbands need – to feel respected. When a woman submits to her husband it is not because she needs to learn submission, it is because her husband needs to feel respected as a male. And when a husband works to make his wife feel loved it is not because he needs to necessarily benefit from this, its because that is what she needs.
In fulfilling these directives the couple is doing what is absolutely necessary, in most cases, for a marriage to remain healthy and viable.
Eliminated either and problems arise. Because out there in the world are plenty of others who will make the wife feel “loved” and plenty of others who will make a man feel like the biggest genius on earth.
The bases for these instructions then go all the way back to the very creation of human beings. And in the event two human beings choose to get married, and choose to follow the Christian directives for marriage, the only two directives they get from all of scripture is for wives to
“respect their husbands” and for husbands to love their wives – the topic we will get to in a minute.
The first line of the next verse, taken without all of that background I just delivered, is a tough pill to swallow in this day and age.
Remember, the advice is equally set forth on the expectations Paul will lay in the husbands in the following verse. But all by themselves the words can be daunting – especially to a woman who is married to a jerk. Nevertheless, Paul says:
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, (We have to ask ourselves How – and Paul tells us, saying) EVEN AS Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.
Work it backwards with me – Christ is the head of the Church. And men as to submit to the will of Christ. The wives of these men are to then submit to their husbands who are the head of their union.
As we pointed out, it is very unusual in the human realm for someone to exist without a decision maker, a protector, and provider, and the one who governs – in this case, through love and allegiance to Christ.
Our corporations have a head – the CEO.
Our Government has a head – the President.
Jesus has a head – God the Father.
Husbands have a head – Jesus
And Paul says wives have a head – the Husband.
In the overall description of such, the Husband would be someone the wife would love having as the ultimate decision maker – because as Christ’s disciple he would execute that job with discernment, love, wisdom and equanimity. He would be a great provider as God provides for His own. He would be a great protector and he would govern with love, and gentleness and judgement.
Who wouldn’t want to submit to someone like that? Paul tells us that the husband is such a head “As Christ is the head of the church and the savior of the Body of believers.”
How does Christ serve as head of the church? With all the abilities and characteristics we just named, right? And so the husband would be to the couple and the family and the wife would, by his side – remember the place she was removed from Adam – as a partner.
See, what Paul is going to make clear in the next few verses is that Christ gave himself to save the body, the church.
He did this as He practiced ultimate self-denial – so ought the husband to manifest a similar approach to making his wife feel safe, happy, loved and provided for.
As Christ protects His bride so ought the husband to be her natural protector, her provider, whom she respects enough to submit to in his role as Governor.
It’s a beautiful illustration. And so Paul adds
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Again, biblical literalism can cause a lot of problems with a passage like this. And zealous male believers have capitalized on such and interpreted this as:
“I am the boss-man, you are the servant of all my needs, shut up – I make the rules around here.
Context removes such idiotic interpretations and forces us to see that this line is founded on all the factors already mentioned but especially that of the Husband being, loving , sacrificially serving the wife.
It is at this point where Paul now goes, saying at verse 25:
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
While the command to submit to the will of a fallen, mortal man is certainly taxing and requires a consummate love for God to employ for women, the demand on husbands is not one whit less difficult.
The Greek for love her is not love her erotically, it is not love her as a friend, it is not love her as a family member, it is love her selflessly, unconditionally, as God loves us, as Christ loved the Church.
This demand is on pure sacrificial love of self – something men are not naturally, with their fallen nature, good at. And Paul isn’t just talking about a few gestures of agape love, he says that this love a husband is to have for his wife is
“even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
There has never been a greater love in the world than the Love Christ had for the church.
In Acts 20:28 Paul said to the believers then:
“Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood.”
Scripture makes it clear that the life of a person is in the blood, so to say that Christ purchased the church with his blood is to say He gave His life. And he lays the same demand on a husband. His life is NOT his own. In taking on a wife, the husband enters a sacrificial expression toward his wife as he sacrifices his own life – his will, his ways, his desires, his natural tendencies over for her and her well-being and needs.
Could Jesus love His church too much? No, so it stands to reason that a husband cannot love his wife too much – cannot sacrifice too much for her and the children that she will love as her own.
Of course the difficulties behind this advice in this world are beyond belief and so it often requires the support of God through Christ to bring a couple through successfully as men are naturally selfish, and women, witnessing such, respond with disrespect.
And the fully cycle of destruction is in place. My wife, who hold seventy two Ph.d’s in learning to respect an idiot, always says
In a marriage, someone has to give. Either the husband must love when disrespected or the wife must respect when she has not been loved.
And in this, we discover the ethos of all Christ introduced to the world at work.
Not easy. But very very Christian – and often necessary to bring peace, maintain unity, and to keep a marriage in the end, together.
How else did Christ love the church?
Galatians 1:4 says, speaking of Jesus:
“Who gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us from this present evil world, according to the will of God and our Father.”
So he
gave himself for our sins
That he might deliver us from this present evil world
According to the will of God the Father
Likewise, a husband is to give himself, his life, for the sins of his wife, to help deliver her from this present evil world, according to the will of Christ, who is His head.
This is all done by genuine sacrificial love for her – and it is this goodness that causes her to soften, and to respect.
Of course, Galatians 2:20 tells us that Jesus “gave Himself” for the Church. Gave His life. Show me a man who gives his life for his wife and family and I will show you 50% of a fantastic marriage.
So there is the initial run-down of Ephesians five and Paul’s advice to wives and husbands.
We will continue on next week with the rest of it.
