Divorce

Heart of the Matter Broadcast

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THIS . . . is Heart of the MatterTGNN’s original show where Shawn McCraney deconstructed religion and developed fulfilled theology. . . . “Where Mormonism Meets Biblical Christianity Face to Face.”

Show 16 Divorce April 20th 2010

And I’m Shawn McCraneyFounder of TGNN and developer of the fulfilled perspective—calling people to faith outside of religion., your host. If you have family or friends who cannot get Heart through television give them a call and tell them to go to www.hotm.tv and they can watch through streaming video from anywhere in the world!

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The Influence of Mormonism

One of the most difficult things many people face when examining their membership in the Mormon church is the way they have sort of just totally accepted everything Mormonism has told them.

Being LDS is not like being a non-denominational Christian folks because Mormonism tends to invade nearly every part of a person's life, mind, heart, and world-view. It is difficult for someone on the outside – especially someone who knows the Bible – to meet a fully grown and functioning adult who, for argument's sake, we’ll name Bob, and who, with a smile pasted on his face and a house full of kids, is completely devoted to men in business suits who call themselves prophets and apostles.

I mean, just where does Bob’s tremendous faith and allegiance come from? From whence comes his dedication to pay ten percent of his gross salary, to serve like a banshee (voluntarily), to attend a temple month in and out, to wear special religious garments every day, and to strive to become a god? Well, it can come from a number of places, but often it comes from early indoctrination.

Early Indoctrination

Let’s go back in time . . . way back to when Bob was but a little boy. What was Bob learning in nursery at church? About Jesus? Yes, maybe some things about Jesus. What else? About Heavenly Father? Yes, there were pictures of heavenly Father in his long gray beard and some references about what He expects of people. What else? Joseph Smith? Yes, Joseph Smith. Lots about Joseph Smith from cradle to the grave. Prophets? Yes. Lots of songs about Joseph Smith and other prophets too.

Songs that powerfully demand that a person: “Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, follow the prophet, don’t go astray – ay.” And by the time Bob is ten or eleven years old he starts to get that “empty gleam in his eye” in response to this constant, relentless, invasive, carefully orchestrated delivery of information sent to mold Bob’s brain into viewing the world in the way Mormonism wants Bob to perceive the world.

Jesus is used, but very carefully. Heavenly Father is more prevalent, but still less than the images of Man. Living prophets are hailed, discussed, read about, and honored and by the time Bob serves a mission he knows more about the life of Joseph than anything the Bible teaches. Before he knows it Bob is mindlessly devoted, though he really, sincerely believes he has been given a “choice” in the matter. This false idea serves as an automatic reassurance to Bob on those rare occasions when he actually stops, researches, and thinks.

Let me give you a current example of how early and insidious this grooming is and how it takes place. In the March 28th edition of the Daily Herald a segment called, Games. It was a full two-page layout with which LDS children could engage while watching their live general conference. Let’s look at it. (EXPLORE IT)

And with that, let’s have a prayer.

PRAYER Tough topic tonight, kids. I mean rough and tough – to deliver properly and to hear rightly. As with any tough topic, some people are going to get rather incensed with me while others are going to find great relief. So what are we comparing and contrasting between Mormonism and biblical Christianity? “Da-da-da-divorce.” What

The Biblical Truth About Divorce

What makes this topic sooooo difficult is that I am obligated, by virtue of what the Big Manual says contextually, to speak the truth about it – even if it hurts. Like the subject of homosexuality, the biblical truth regarding divorce is plain. BUT, as in the case of homosexuality, the great hope for the matter is plain as well – and it is NOT what most people think it is.

Perhaps the best single summary about divorce came from the mouth of Jesus himself. In Mark chapter 10, the Pharisees came to Jesus and in an effort to trap Him, asked:

“Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife?”

Now, there was a great debate among the Jews dating way back about what they called “the putting away of a wife.” One opinion came from the school of Hillel, and it said that a man might divorce his wife for any offense, or any dislike he might have of her. She burns the toast? DIVORCE! She gives him the mean old sea hag face? ;( DIVORCE! And the woman was left dangling out there in society because of the whim of the man. The other major opinion came from the school of Shammai. It maintained that divorce was unlawful, except in case of adultery. But again, even this option was pretty much up to the man and his accusations, and so women got the brunt end of the deal (as usual, right?)

Jesus’ Response to the Pharisees

So being asked His thoughts, the Pharisees hoped to get Jesus to commit to either the Hillel or Shammai party – which would serve to bifurcate His ministry and influence among the Jews. Well, Jesus, the Master teacher (verse 3)

3 . . . said unto them, (verse 3) “What did Moses command you?”

Instead of immediately answering and implicating Himself, He refers them back to a source they both respected, Moses.

4 And they said, “Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.” Was this true? Yes, it was. You see, here was the situation. Moses was leading millions of people out of bondage and into the promised land. This was an enormous endeavor, and yet amidst this mass exodus and all that it entailed, Moses was being faced with one of the single most emotional issues in human existence – the dissolution of a marriage. So instead of letting some very misogynistic men just walk away from their wives, literally leaving them without any hope of a future, Moses, because of the hardness of their hearts, had their husbands write a “bill of divorcement” which allowed the women to prove that they have been freed from the contract of marriage to the man.

In verse 5, Jesus said:

5 “For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; (that literally mean be glued to her) and they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more two, but one flesh. In the Matthew account Jesus says to the Pharisees, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts gave a bill of divorcement, BUT FROM THE BEGINNING IT WAS NOT SO.”

Understanding “From the Beginning”

So what does Jesus mean, “from the beginning?” In order to contextually understand divorce and what Jesus said about it, we have to go back to this beginning He was speaking about: Adam and Eve. Now ask yourself, “Where did Adam come from?” From the dust of the earth, right? Then, where did Eve come from? From Adam’s own body. Eve was taken from Adam. So they were wholly one and the same. And who made them one? God, because He created them two from one and then commanded the two parts to remain one flesh for life.

Now listen closely – was there anything on earth that could take Adam and Eve and tear them apart or make them NOT one? Anything? (BEAT) Nothing. If Adam and Eve “got divorced” would the divorce change the fact that Eve was taken from Adam’s side and that they were literally of one flesh? Not in the least. From the beginning, Eve came from Adam and they were one, and nothing could ever separate them. This is how Jesus was able to say, “Moses may have granted you all a bill of divorce, but from the beginning it was not so.” Meaning, from the beginning God made the unity.

The Model of Marital Union

Of a couple absolutely permanent and impossible to separate? And this is the model for the marital union. In this model, we find an extremely limited expression of sexual intimacy. It can only occur in any way between those who consummate their marriage to each other. The exclusiveness of Adam and Eve to each other is a type for the total exclusiveness a man and woman are to have with each other in marriage. God takes marital fidelity very seriously, and grants immense marital blessings to those who maintain the Adam and Eve model of whole and complete unity.

It does not matter what men or women think on the subject today when it comes to what God wants. His ideal of marriage was pictured in the beginning with the sacred creation of Adam and Eve, a union literally created by God Himself of two people from one source.

The Teachings of Jesus on Marriage

This is why Jesus added in verse 9:

9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Got all that? Well, the disciples, having heard Jesus say this, were quite befuddled. And once they were away from the eyes and ears of the Pharisees, it says in verse ten:

10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.

Now what Jesus tells them fits perfectly with the way God set up and sees male and female marital relationships from the beginning. How?

11 Jesus said to His disciples, “Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.

12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

What did Jesus mean? Exactly what He said. If God has put a couple together, and they divorce each other and join with another in marriage, Jesus calls them adulterers. Why? Because God takes the first marital union and commitment seriously and sees it as He sees Adam and Eve – forever inseparable.

If Adam or Eve got a bill of divorce from Moses, and they each married other people, they would still be two people from one, right? Therefore, Adam – even with a bill of divorce – would be committing adultery against Eve and Eve would be committing adultery against Adam. When a man and a woman come together in marriage and consummate it, they are one in God’s eyes – like Adam and Eve were one from God’s hands. Man can attempt to separate the couple, we can call it divorce, but to God, the first couple is one just as Adam and Eve were one from the beginning. And what God has put together let no man put asunder.

The Divine Perspective on Marriage

Now some will say, “well God didn’t put my marriage together.” Again, even if the couple didn’t believe in God when they married it doesn’t alter the fact that God sees them as one, and the same rules apply to them as if they were believers. John the Baptist was beheaded because he fearlessly told a non-Jewish governor that his marriage was illegal and improper. John the Baptist fearlessly confirmed to a non-believer that even he was subject to God’s ways.

Okay, so those are some of the hard biblical facts about marriage and divorce. If you are married and consummate that marriage, you have become one under God’s eyes and are not permitted to be divorced without continuing on as an adulterer. I know this is hard to hear but nobody is in any position to alter the facts.

When people come up to me and say, “Shawn, I was married, got divorced because we didn’t get along, and then I got remarried. Does this mean I am an adulterer in God’s eyes?” And I say with all frankness and love: “Yes. In His eyes you are an adulterer.” And then they freak out. And I usually lose another friend or supporter . . . unless I can convince them to hang around and hear the rest of the story found in the Good News.

The LDS Perspective on Divorce

So how do the LDS differ in their perspective of divorce? In two distinct ways. First, if a spouse becomes an enemy to the church, Mormon leadership almost always counsel divorce. I know this from firsthand experience. Secondly, in Mormonism, where divorce is more and more becoming a huge reality, the brethren today would never tell their faithful members who remarry after a divorce that they are adulterers. It’s just too harsh. It doesn’t bring the spirit. And so they ignore and alter the facts Jesus Himself plainly stated. They haven’t always done this, but they do it today.

Understanding Biblical Perspectives on Divorce

As long as people are supportive and believing in the Church, biblical truths will usually take a back seat – in order to not offend or grieve the spirit.

But I have to be fair. In our day and age, the Christian body is not much better, and many pastors the world over condone divorce and remarriage as a means to keep people happy . . . and to keep the pews full.

Now, let me turn to the hopeful facts regarding divorce . . . because with the true and living God there is always hope in the face of this fallen world. First of all, while Jesus said to the Pharisees that “divorce was not so from the beginning,” neither was sinMissing the mark of faith and love—no punishment, just lost growth or peace. from the beginning, or lust, or anger, or selfishness, or any of the things that make marriage difficult today. So while we must be faithful to describe and understand God’s perspective on how things are supposed to be – from the beginning – we may also note that we live in a fallen, messy world, one where Jesus came and did for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Common Misconceptions

Now, there are some very rigid types of people out there who maintain a “stay married at all costs” position. And they seem to relish in castigating people who have been divorced. These types usually cite a passage in Malachi 2 where it says God “hates divorce.” But they never seem to get as frothy over people who have a

1. proud look
2. or a lying tongue
3. or with hands that shed innocent blood,
4. or with hearts that devise wicked imaginations
5. or feet that be swift in running to mischief,
6. or with false witnesses that speaketh lies, or
7. people who sow discord among the brethren.

All of which, scripture tells us, God hates too. The point is, God hates the conditions of this fallen world – and that is why He sent His Son – to save us from ourselves.

What is really interesting to me is that when Jesus addresses divorce He seemed to level the playing field and finally brought justice to a people-group who have long time been badly mistreated – women. Let me explain.

Biblical Grounds for Divorce

Jesus gave one reason on how a person could divorce their spouse and remarry another and NOT be an adulterer. In Matthew chapter 5:31-32, when Jesus is teaching the disciples on the Sermon on the Mount, He says:

“It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”

So Jesus here reiterates the fact that anyone who remarries after an unlawful divorce becomes an adulterer, but He does give an exception for a marriage to be lawfully destroyed – without it ending in the offended spouse being an adulterer. And He says “except for the cause of fornication.”

Now this is really important, my friends. Listen: A married man or woman cannot – cannot – commit fornication by having sexual relations with a person other than their spouse. A married man or woman can only commit adultery through such an act. And Jesus uses two very different Greek words here when explaining the only justification for divorce.

The word for adultery is “moikhao.” Now ask yourself, why doesn’t Jesus say

That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of adultery, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”

But instead says:

That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication . . .”

We’ll what is the Greek word for the word fornication used here? Porniea! And while we all know we get the word pornography from the word it means, “any and all sexual immorality or deviancy.”

So what Jesus says here is the only justifiable grounds not only for divorce, but for the offended spouse to move on and remarry with God’s full approbation is when their spouse is involved in “any and all sexual immorality or deviancy committed outside the purview of marriage.” It doesn’t mean you should or have to divorce, but it is the grounds for a lawful divorce in God’s eyes.

Key Considerations

So we have some facts to consider.

ONE: God demands total sexual fidelity in marriage.

TWO: If there is not, it is grounds for divorce.

THREE: And this sexual infidelity is pornneia, meaning any sexual deviation.

Now, looking at marriages

Understanding the Grounds for Divorce

Today, who do you suppose is now in the seat to put away their spouse? The wife! You see, women have for centuries before been the ones to have been “put away” for no justifiable reason at all, and now Jesus steps in right here and says the marital union is so sacred, God expects every married couple to live as though they were Adam and Eve. If they do, there are absolutely no grounds for divorce – none – because that couple is singularly one and will work out their issues together.

But, Jesus says, if this union is broken by any sexual deviation or perversion from either side, the marriage can end, and the offended parties would not be considered adulterers in God’s eyes if and when he or she remarries. If you think about this and apply it to Adam and Eve, it might make sense. Imagine that Adam, who is literally one with Eve in the flesh, takes on a lover. The sacred unity he had with Eve would be desecrated as he had been shared with another, and their singular unity would never be the same. These are the why’s and what’s behind divorce.

Handling Divorce and Remarriage

Finally, I’d like to speak to those people who have divorced for reasons other than porneia in their marriage and are, by definition, seen as adulterers according to the Bible. If you find this title bothering you, check your pride at the door and praise God for His grace. Didn’t the blood of Jesus spill over any and all who believe on Him? Yes it did. Adulterers too. Are we not all sinful and fallen short of the mark? Yes. Just four verses before Jesus told the disciples that those who divorce and remarry commit adultery, He said:

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Jesus said this to get all people everywhere to examine their heart – whether we have actually committed adultery on our spouse or are adulterers by virtue of a second or third or fourth unauthorized marriage . . . and then to let Him step in and save us.

Expansion of Heart of the Matter

And with that, let’s go to the phones: (801) 973-8820 (801) 973-TV20. First-time TV sets down, LDS CALLERS Please.

All of us here at Heart of the Matter want to take a minute and thank God. We want to thank the owners of KTMW TV 20, Pat and Connie. We want to thank our partners, our friends, those who pray for us, and our dedicated volunteers. Why? Heart of the Matter is going national. Beginning in July of this year, Heart of the Matter will be available on DirectTV channel 378, which is the National Religious Broadcast channel, on channel 126, known as Skyangel, and on the NRB streaming video line – in addition to our own streaming features and our TV 20 broadcast here in Salt Lake City.

What does this mean? A viewership of approximately sixty million new potential households across the nation. Praise God. We want to run the program in review again for those of you who are still considering helping us take the show nationwide. We thank those of you who have stepped forward in these difficult times. Check this out. (SHOW CASSIDY’S WORK HERE)

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