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Okay we are in Part three of 1st Corinthians 13 – the chapter on love – Godly love – not human love, not the love that is beneficial to our person, and social lives, and love lives – but the love that is a winning love, a love that is a victorious love, and therefore because it is this kind of love it is a sacrificial kind of love, a love that requires suffering on the part of the giver to some extent or another; a love that turns the other cheek, that goes the extra-mile, that is long-SUFFERING; that forgives others when injured and maligned; that seeks to heal, seeks peace, seeks the good always, seeks the light – it is this very love that God is, as we are constantly hurting Him and His nature and yet He is constantly loving us in these very same ways.
Before we continue on with this series on this love that God is perhaps we ought to take a moment and talk about what has come to be known as tough love as these wires get crossed in the description of Godly love because people are left wondering:
How do I deal with a predator? How do I deal with a drug addicted son, or a rude, self-centered, difficult individual who never seems to learn and is therefore forever causing problems.
Add in to this is the question on how to raise children, who require instruction and discipline and even strong redirection?
How does God’s love fit into these situations?
To begin with, I am a completely sold out proponent of what the world has labeled tough love and have zero issue with applying it to people who need it.
But there are a number of factors I think need to be in play for tough love to have any effect.
And primary to tough love being effective is for Agape Love to be in place AND known first – otherwise tough love doesn’t look like love at all.
A child, teen or difficult adult must first (unless they are engaged in an criminal activity that is going to harm someone) know that they are the recipient of God’s love through you PRIOR to tough love playing a role.
This means that the first rule of Agape love described here in 1st Corinthians has played a part – longsuffering.
Grace after grace, kindness after kindness, good envy after good envy, non-boastfulness after non-boastfulness expressed to the individual in question BEFORE the tough love is in play to the point that the person KNOWS that you love them as God loves them.
That is the first consideration.
The second consideration is that Godly love continues to be bestowed out upon the individual WHILE the tough love is administered.
“Honey, until you can choose to stop killing yourself with drugs, and stealing from us, and trying to get your younger brother to use, Mom and I can’t have you here. We have to make a choice for the whole family in this. But we love you with all of our heart. And I am here always to talk whenever you need it. Can’t give you money – as hard as that is for me as your father, your provider – but we are here whenever YOU are ready to stop harming yourself and others.”
Mary and I are very different people when it comes to how to deal with difficult situations or people.
She comes from a military background, and an LDS background, and her parents were very vocal about correcting bad behavior – and these traits work really well in the army, or in running an organization, or children.
And so it is really hard – I mean really hard – emotionally, even physically – to put up with people who interrupt, who take advantage, who break the rules, or are just inconsiderate.
We have been married 34 years and these personality traits do not go away. She has to choose to love others in the way that God’s love is described in this chapter – and its not easy or entirely successful.
Ironically, I used to get very angry with her when she failed to love! Isn’t that ridiculous! But it’s entirely natural for our flesh to resorts to the flesh of others as a means to control their flesh – and we are left with a mess of fleshly opinions and attitudes getting pushed all over the place in an attempt to correct things and make the world around us a better place.
For her, unless people are called out and challenged on their behavior they will never change – and therefore love INCLUDES confronting people on things.
On that point, I could not agree more – it is LOVING to shine a light in the darkness, even if it causes some issues between the parties involved.
But it is vital to remember that the Godly love, and frankly the Philos and STorge love – must be known to exist toward the other BEFORE correctional approaches MIGHT take ever effect.
This is key with raising children, in my opinion, and it is key in dealing with rebellious teens and difficult adults.
One more thing about dealing with challenging adults. It is really important to remember that they have arrived at adulthood having resisted change of the things that trouble the rest of us.
And in all probability they have rarely experienced AGAPE LOVE (or even philos or storge love) ALONG with any corrections that they have received in their lives – including what we call “tough love” corrections.
And so they continue to behave in ways that are grating on societal norms.
HOWEVER – and this is really important – even when all of our efforts at helping to gently guide and teach others of the error of their ways, when these efforts fail, the principles of Agape love must remain a constant.
See that is the key – no matter what happens – if a person learns and improves or does NOT learn or improve, the principles of Agape are the only response we have as Christians.
Okay, so last week we read:
1st Corinthians 13 Part III
October 21st 2018
Milk
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself
And we left off there. So let’s finish the passage and continue on as Paul continues and says Godly love . . .
. . . is not puffed up (Verse 5),
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Okay, we got into most of verse 4 last week which says
Godly love suffereth long, and is kind; Godly love envieth not; Godly love vaunteth not itself, and then Paul adds something that seems like a repetition, saying and it is “not puffed up,”
The Greek word translated VAUNTETH NOT ITSELF (which we covered last week) is “per-per-yoo’-om-ahee” and it clearly means boastful.
Godly love is not boastful.
And when we read the next line, Godly love is not puffed up, it sounds like he is saying the same thing or that he is just emphasizing or clarifying what he means when he said it is not boastful.
But he uses an entirely different word here, and while it could be a means to amplify boastful, the word translated “puffed up” in the Greek is FOO-SEE-OO-OO and it means to inflate or make proud.
Perhaps it is different from the preceding word translated “vaunteth itself” speaks to outward expressions and Foo-see-oo-oo speaks to pride and vanity of the heart.
In other words, a person can be extremely proud and vain and not express it in the form of boasting. This is what the word seems to be speaking to – inner pride.
I sometimes wonder if exuberant boasting is a way that some people will use to try and feel better about themselves (rather than it always being a revelation of an abundance of pride in their hearts) but deep-rooted pride in the heart is always the true pride – and in the MOST proud of heart often very little is expressed outwardly – they are too superior to even relate to the common riff raff, right?
We have to wonder why Jesus, the only Son of the Living God, as not proud in the heart. What was in Him that did not allow him to look down on others and mock them with laughter and condescension?
What is it in God the Father that causes Him to not look down on us and mock, and ridicule, and belittle and harm like ants on a sidewalk?
Why would God – and especially His only human Son NOT possess human pride?
He could have called ten thousand angels down to wipe His enemies? He could have out outwitted everyone with quippy comebacks, and critical assessments. He could have condemned every single sinner endlessly?
Why the humility? The lack of pride?
It has to be that it was because He was really, truly full of complete love.
When we think about it that is the true antidote to pride, isn’t it – Godly love. How can someone full of this kind of love toward others ever be simultaneously proud?
Listen to the sixteen attributes again:
It suffers long
Pride says, “I don’t have time for this or you.” Pride says I am more important than you. Pride does not suffer with much. It rises above the issues through self-inflation.
is kind
Pride has no need for kindness. Pride is unkind because it can only see what it is compared and contrasted to the rest.
envieth not
vaunteth not itself,
is not puffed up.
Pride envies because it wants itself to be better than others for prides sake, to win, to be the center of attention.
And it may vaunts its accomplishments.
Doth not behave itself unseemly
Pride is entitled. It says, take me (often as I am) because I am that important. I can behave anyway I want, I can say anything I want, I can put myself first because I am that good. Love looks at the benefit of others first, and the will of God first, and moves the possessor to a sub-status not to pre-eminence.
Ours is an age particularly full of pride. Of the self. In some ways it’s the results of being preyed upon and attacked. Woman have had to step forward in some ways to protect themselves, as have other people over the ages.
That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about personal human pride that says to the world, “I am entitled, special and MORE important that you, your needs, your time, your opinions, your everything. It screams ME in everything it does.
And this leads us to what Paul says next, that Love
seeketh not her own,
Again, that is all that pride would seek. When we look to the traits of Satan and Christ, one sought his own interests while the later sought the interests of others.
Pride was at the root.
is not easily provoked
Wanna seek pride at work? Confront a proud expert in a field with a challenge to their insights. BOOM, there it is, right?
I’m not gonna finish this up by taking it out to the end, but we could. In the end, LOVE – Godly love – is the reason why Jesus was not proud.
So we continue with our list at verse 5
Godly love . .
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly,
seeketh not her own,
is not easily provoked
thinketh no evil;
We already touched on “does not behave itself unseemly,” but I wanna get specific here because its important.
To start the Greek is ASKAY-MONEO and it means improperly, unseemingly, disgracefully.
Only twice used in the Apostolic Record is means love seeks that which is proper or becoming in given circumstances and conforms to the situation at hand.
Why? For the benefit of all involved.
This application of love, which I have had to learn and lacked when I was younger as a student or neighbor, says that we have appropriate respect for opinions shared, policies that are in place, and does not discriminate based on status or rank.
It would not allow for mistreatment of servants, waiters, or disrespect for ranking officials or people in positions of authority.
The concept is really quite broad but perhaps it best means good decorum with all people all the time.
Proper respect for authority, proper treatment of servants and help.
In Paul’s day a group of Greeks known as the Cynics were known defying the traditional ideas of decency or would, as a means to express their freedom and individuality, would break social morays/norms because they could.
Paul might be saying here that Godly love would cause a person to take into consideration societal norms as a means to keep the peace and serve the greater good.
Of course, Paul was also willing to disrupt the peace by sharing the Good News with others and so he was not suggesting that social norms are to be strictly obeyed.
His point seems to be that where Godly love is, there is general consideration, that’s all, and no displays that would be considered improper.
Godly love would seek to promote the happiness of all involved and would avoid things that might mar the peace, safety or enjoyment of the mass.
And the next one, like the others Paul has mentioned, seems to flow right out of the former, as Paul says that Agape Love
“seeketh not her own.”
I’m not really sure why this is feminized here (as her own) in the King James because the best Greek translates this as “seeketh not its own” and because of this we are going to stick with it.
We might suggest that this statement is really the best summary of the whole point. That genuine Agape Love is not “self-seeking” because if we took the time we would see that every one of the characteristics mentioned here by Paul of Godly love stand in opposition to a person who is SELF-SEEKING (or one who seeks to promote THEMSELVES, their agenda, their wants and even their needs) over those of God and others.
This is the end-goal of the faith – to take people who are selfish from birth (with SELF-ish being defined as someone who
Has a lack of consideration for others,
Is chiefly concerned with their own well-being and benefit
Is therefore self-serving and places their wants ahead of the wants and/or needs for others.
In our examination of the Life of the Savior we are presented with a living example of such selflessness as He placed others ahead of himself even to the giving up of his body and life to save them.
When the results of the Fall were because Eve saw that the forbidden fruit was good for food (that she wanted to eat) pleasant to the eyes (it pleased her) and it made one wise (it fed her ego needs) she fed herself the very food God told her to selflessly reject.
She SELFISHLY declined.
Selflessness is at the basis of all holiness, as it is the basis for all principles of genuine Godly Love.
If God was the Sovereign that the Reformers suggested that He is, He would in the end, be selfish rather than selfless, thereby defiling the very Love scripture describes Him to be.
No God is love, and therefore God is selfless, and when we begin to see Him in these terms I think we step in the direction of a better depiction of Him than what we have accepted in the past.
Likewise, those who are His will embrace the ideal of selflessness (more and more) as they walk in His light.
This principle sets forth the nature and power of His love perhaps better than anything else.
However, having said this, I do not believe Paul is promoting what eastern metaphysics calls, asceticism.
Prior to embracing the middle way, the Buddha practiced extreme asceticism and there is a great tendency for religiously inclined souls to do the same as a means to exercise the spirit over the flesh.
Asceticism comes from the Greek word, ask-esis, which means training, and it has come to mean abstaining from pleasures, especially sensory pleasures, as a means to attain greater spiritual sensibilities, power or control.
Islam practices asceticism during what they call Ramadan, Catholics during lent, Christians during deliberate abstainations and Mormons once a month on fast Sunday.
Its all a form of asceticism. This is a side issue relative to selflessness, and in the end can become more of a selfish endeavor than what we might like to believe
(For instance people love to talk about how all of Ghandi’s possessions could fit in a shoe box at his death but one of his body guards commented about how much money, time, and attention it took to keep his life that minimal.
Get it?
That is the danger of extreme asceticism – they become a thing in and of themselves and this is why Jesus said,
“When you fast wash your darn face and don’t make it known that you are fasting.”
That is the SelfLESSness coming out that Paul describes here.
Similarly, every human being is free to pursue the course of life that she or he was meant to pursue, and because one is blessed with riches and one is not does not necessarily mean one is selfish and the other is not.
It’s the heart, it’s the attitude, it’s the actions that guide from the world view that directs them – not the circumstances.
Even when we look at the life of Our Lord and Savior – the least selfish Man to ever walk the earth – His self-denial was exercise reasonably.
He took time to commune with God alone. He ate and drank and attended functions and parties, and he appears to have fasted in accordance with purpose, and not to be seen of men.
We have an instance in scripture where the woman with the alabaster box of cream poured it over him and she was criticized for the waste. But he protected her actions and pointed out that it was a selfless act pointed at His death, thereby showing her love for the act that others thought was foolish.
This faith ought not breed selfishness – and if feeding the self, and catering to the self, and living for the self is the goal those principles seem to be at odds with what genuine Godly love is.
Paul adds next that Agape love
“Is not easily provoked,”
PAROX-OO-NO
to exasperate, stir, sharpen.
This term occurs nowhere else in the Apostolic Record except in Act 17:16 where we read
“His spirit was stirred within him when he saw the city wholly given to idolatry.”
His spirit was provoked within him.
Tindal translates it as, “Is not provoked to anger.” Our versions don’t readily present this and as a side note, the term, “easily” is not expressed in the original.
Bible translators inserted this into the text to emphasize the idea that provocations to anger would be slow. The meaning of the phrase in the Greek seems to mean that a man who is under the influence of love would not be prone to violent anger hastily or passionate.
He is calm and restrained. Paul intimates here that this is a by-product of Agape Love. And from experience most of us know that he is ever-so correct.
And then, Godly love “thinketh no evil.”
The word for Thinketh is log-id-zom-ahee and we know from this that it’s a word that incorporates LOGOS and is best understood from the position of
to take an inventory or making an estimate – from that, to conclude,
Add in “ohm-ahee” and we get that Agape Love does not estimate or conclude, lay, number, reason, reckon, suppose, or think KAK-OS – evil, bad, harm or wickedness of others.
We put the best possible construction on the motives and the conduct of others even when they really appear to be malevolent.
We are not seeking to discover some evil purpose or desire in others. We do not suppose that their intentions are automatically bad, we give all people the benefit of the doubt.
Ever misplace something or lose something and automatically think that a certain individual stole it from you?
Agape love chooses to step back, take a breath, and strives to examine all the other possibilities before considering the detrimental one.
It refuses to impute evil intentions to something someone says, or does – it gives them “the benefit of the doubt,” and strives to not assign evil intent.
Again, not easy to do – because our natural inclinations are frequently tuned into finding fault and reasons WHO did the something that happens before discovering the HOW.
Verse 6 as Paul adds, Agape Love
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.
This passage is a bit different that then others as it uses the term “rejoices” (twice) one – in what Godly love does NOT rejoice in – and the other in what it does rejoice in.
The term rejoice in the first sense means “not to be glad or joyful” (khah-ee-ro) and the second means “be glad with”(soong-khah-ee-ro).
Now, there are a number of ways to understand this first line – it could mean
Godly love rejoices not in doing iniquity OR
Godly love rejoices not when others do iniquity OR Godly love rejoices not when iniquity is DONE to others . . .
And because of all these variables I like the way the RSV versions translate it, saying:
“Godly lover does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.”
That summarizes it really well, doesn’t it?
“Godly love is not happy when someone experiences injustice upon them, when someone does injustice, or when others are unjust. They are always troubled at any injustice, pain or wrong.”
At times we read of believers rejoicing in unfortunate things that happen to other segments of society. Not so, says Paul. Godly love never appreciates a wrong.
On the other hand, Godly love always rejoices in good, right or righteousness.
Don’t rejoice over the vices of others, delight in the crimes of men, love when an enemy experiences something unfortunate but instead rejoices when good things happen.
And now we come to a passages that, if believed as it is written, and if it is incorporated into our thoughts as Christians, will CHANGE the world and those around us.
To me it is one of the most important passages in the Bible. Ready?
Godly love:
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Young Literal translates it this way
“all things it beareth, all it believeth, all it hopeth, all it endureth.”
BEARETH, BELIEVETH, HOPETH, ENDURETH . . . ALL THINGS.
Do you believe, bear, hope and endure all things as a follower of Christ. Do I?
Should we?
Paul says that Godly love does. I don’t know how to get around this in my head. Maybe I’m Pollyanish, but the Spirit of God tells me personally that this passage is one of the best summaries of the Christian attitude that was ever written!
Why we draw limits on this is beyond me – but we do, don’t we?
Why the different terms?
Beareth
Believeth
Hopeth
Endureth
“All things?”
Let’s break the words down because in doing so we are introduced to one comprehensive statement.
Beareth all things (stego – to cover and hide, to not make known – as in the faults and failures of others. Godly love is disposed to overlooking the imperfections of others.)
It allows us to sit with the “sinners” and overlook the sins so as to love them for what they could be in God. It is a benevolence that does not accuse. I love it and desire it in my life.
Believeth all things (pisteuo – the term for faith. Faith in all things. WHAT? That’s what it says. In context of the Christian faith, Godly love trusts that all things are possible with Him. All things.
Of course this is set in the confines of reason. We do not trust that Satan will be our God, or something unreasonable to the rest of scripture. But in the realms of God’s power over His creations I personally put NOTHING past His ability to win whether it be the hard hearts of the coldest souls or the sins of the most depraved. I believe all things are possible for God. All things.
And the more I cultivate this view the more loving I become toward . . . all things.
Get it?
If I maintain that many things are not possible, that God will not save the most lost, then I will not love the most lost.
To believe all things are possible with God allows US to love the impossible!
Hopeth all things (elpizo – remember that we defined Hope as being comprised of two sides of the same coin with one side being desire and the other being an expectation; that without either one, real hope is not present?
Well Paul maintains here that Godly love hopes (desires and expects) all things. If this is not part of your thinking we need to revisit that.
Someone once asked online:
“Is there anyone you do not want to go to heaven?”
I used to have a laundry list of people or people types on my list.
No more. We are, in Godly love, to bear, believe, and hope (desire and expect) that ALL would be there. All. That is Godly love, my friends. And it is obviously a very different world view than the views we naturally maintain in our hearts while in the flesh.
When Jesus walked the earth, the Samaritans were sort of ticked at Him for having his heart obviously set on getting to Jerusalem instead of spending time with them.
Luke 9:54 And when his disciples James and John saw this, they said, Lord, wilt thou that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elias did?
(Under the Law and the Prophets to call fire down was part and parcel of life under the Law). But no longer, and we then read
55 But Jesus turned, and rebuked them, and said, Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of.
56 For the Son of man is not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them. And they went to another village.
This LOVE that God is bears all things, it believes all things, it desires and expects all things, and then Paul wraps it up by saying
“And it ensures (hupo-meno all things)
Along the way, under this veil of tears and on the path to Him, it seeks to bear up. It strives to resist murmuring, refuses to return injury with injury, and in the name of Christ Jesus loves and lives as He loved and lived – with all of it having direct application to God first, and second, all of our fellow human beings.
We’ll pick it up next week.
Questions/Comments
PRAYER
Venessa and Steve
