Care for Widows

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So, we left off reading our text for today where Paul gives Timothy instructions on how to deal with widows. Let’s re-read the text beginning at verse 3 where he says:

1st Timothy 5.3-16
October 18th 2020
Meat
3 Honor widows that are widows indeed.
4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God. 5 Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day. 6 But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth. 7 And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless. 8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 9 Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man, 10 Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work. 11 But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; 12 Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. 13 And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. 14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 15 For some are already turned aside after Satan. 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.

The Role of Widows in the Early Church

Okay, let’s jump back to verse 3.

3 Honor widows that are widows indeed.

The word honor hear means value, or to hold in esteem. I would suggest that Paul is talking about esteeming widows as true widows relative to the church. Widows and the fatherless have had a place in the heart of God going way back. Jesus called the pharisees out for their taking advantage of them, saying that in their religious ways “they devour widows houses.” James summarizes the faith in the following way:

James 1:27 “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.”

It was an obligation of a faithful Jew to care for their widows and this obligation carried over, as per James, to the New Testament church. As a result, and from the get-go, the Christian church was looking after their widows. This was certainly the case with the church at Ephesus which Timothy was over and to whom Paul was instructing from a distance by letter. So, speaking of a class of widows who were in the care of the church, Paul begins these instructions. The issue must have been weighty because Paul spends a good percentage of space talking about it.

These widows were apparently put in charge of some specific duties in the church, which Paul will list in a minute. In all probability these duties were performed in large part on behalf of other females in the church as interaction between the sexes was typically far more regimented then than what it’s like today.

Current Implications

These duties would have been placed in the hands of women who did not have other family to care for them and the church undertook caring for them and their needs. Because of mortality rates at that time and because Christians males were being, and would more and more, be put to deathSeparation from God—now overcome. Physical death remains, but it no longer separates us from life with God. for the faith, the number of widows was probably large and getting larger. This is the probable setting of what was happening here and what caused Paul to write the next thirteen verses the way he has.

Obviously, these passages were never meant to be permanent and have changed with the times as situations and cultural practices have changed. To say otherwise is to have cashed in your ability to reason. However, we are faced with the reality in these passages that not everything in the New Testament narrative must be taken as applicable to us today. May the Spirit guide.

So, Paul says value, (as in, care for) “widows who are widows indeed.”

Understanding "Widows Indeed"

Now, let’s just make a comparison here in our day to clarify what Paul means by the words, “widows indeed.” Suppose you are sitting in a park and a young, well-dressed, made-up, and bejeweled woman sits on the bench next to you, and you get to talking and learn about her and her life. She has lost her husband to cancer and calls herself a widow. She leaves, and another woman approaches who is older, dressed poorly, without jewels or make-up, and she explains that she too recently lost her husband to a heart attack. Where the first woman is well off, the second woman is in abject poverty. In your mind, who is the “widow indeed?” The one who is beset by the loss of her spouse relative to her future, her ability to care for herself, and her general health and well-being.

We know that this is what Paul is speaking about because of the Greek word here “chra” here which means bereaved, and it implies “distressed circumstances.” As stated, in verses 4, 5, 9, and 10, Paul will help define “widows indeed” for Timothy. So, let’s read as he says:

4 But if any widow have children or nephews (which is scripture often means siblings and or grandchildren), let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.

Paul's Advice on Family Support

So, these are the first women Paul is telling Timothy not to receive in as females in a desperate bereaved situation, ones who have family, children, who could help care for them at home. Paul adds, “and to requite their parents,” meaning to let such a woman repay her parents for their goodness in her life, rather than bestowing labors on the church. The bottom line here is – those women with family members (of these sorts) let them resort to their families for help and do not receive such among the poor and dependent females of the church. Pretty reasonable advice even today. At this point, he speaks to widows indeed and says at verse 5:

5 Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day.

Desolation and Trust in God

We see the word “desolate” as meaning “without comfort” but the meaning here means “without family.” She is alone. So, we have yet another detail about widows indeed – they would be alone and without children, siblings and family to care for them. Paul says to further describe her, she: “Trusteth in God and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day.”

Biblical Examples

We have a picture of such a widow in the Gospel of Luke where he speaks of a woman named Anna, saying in Luke 2:36-37:

Luke 2:36 And there was one Anna, a prophetess, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Aser: she was of a great age, and had lived with an husband seven years from her virginity;
37 And she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day.

I think Anna would have been Paul’s idea of a widow indeed. And then he adds a line where he uses a word, spat-ala-o, to describe his point clearly, saying:

6 But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.

The Greek word “spat-ala-o” occurs one other place in the New Testament, James 5:5. Let’s read James' contextual use of this word by reading a few verses ahead of the use and where he says:

James 5:1 Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you.
2 Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are motheaten.
3 Your gold and silver is cankered; and the rust of them shall be a witness against you, and shall eat your flesh as it were fire. Ye have heaped treasure together for the last daysThe final years of the old covenant age—fulfilled in the first century, not future end times..
4 Behold, the hire of the labourers who have reaped down your fields, which is of you kept back by fraud, crieth: and the cries of them which have reaped are entered into the ears of the Lord of sabaoth.
5 Ye have lived in pleasure on the earth, and been wanton; ye have nourished your hearts, as in a day of slaughter.

Ye have lived in pleasure (spat-ala-o) on the earth, and been wanton; ye have nourished your hearts, as in a day of slaughter.

Wealth and Spirituality in Paul's Teachings

Only description Jesus gives of the two is that Lazarus, was poor and the other was rich and lived sumptuously every day. The meaning behind all of these teachings is to describe someone, in this case relative to widows, as living in luxury, voluptuously; to indulge freely in eating and drinking; to yield to the indulgence of the appetites. Apparently, there were in that day women who referred to themselves as widows that were of the faith. And from what Paul will say, they appear to fit the bill of the young widow I just had us sitting next to in the park. In Paul’s estimation, those who live in luxury are “dead while she liveth". That sounds pretty harsh but the bottom line point of it is, “the flesh profits nothing, but the Spirit is life and peace.”

Carnal vs. Spiritual Mindset

We sing the passages: “For those who live according to the flesh, keep their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.” We have a tendency to see people with wealth as being carnally minded and people who are poor as more spiritual, but I have found the opposite to be just as true. Some of the most carnally minded souls live from one fleshly pleasure to the next and have nothing to their names at the end of the day. It’s all about the mind-set. Remember that. Those who set their minds on the things of the flesh (and live in luxury) and those who set their minds on the things of the Spirit (and live for Him).

Paul is clearly speaking of widows indeed who, like Anna, struggle with the things in life to sustain herself, and others who call themselves widows but live in luxury (relative to the day). To the latter, Paul says she is “dead while she lives,” which is a harsh depiction which must be assigned to those who fit the bill in that age.

7 And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless. In other words, these things announce or make known, that they (the widows indeed) would be blameless (meaning if they have family to help care for them, etc). And then Paul addresses those who have widows in their families, adding:

8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Faith and Responsibility

This line appears to be referring to verse 4 above where Paul mentions the duties of children to care for their widowed mother. His directive is, generally speaking, that those who do not provide for their own (meaning perhaps, more distant relatives – and then he adds) “especially for those of his own house” (meaning directly parents, siblings and children caring for one another) they have denied the faith, and are worse than an infidel (or an unbeliever!) When Paul says that, “He hath denied the faith,” he is saying that his professions of faith in God and Christ are not matched by his actions of love and has missed the mark all-together when it comes to faith being a verb – especially when it comes to his own family.

The interesting thing about this line is that it affirms the fact and the reality that a “Christian” has the ability to denounce their faith as much through actions as words; that renouncing the faith does not mean it has to be said, but in and through our attitudes and actions we are capable of apostasy from the truth. Faith and Love, baby. If we claim the faith, we evidence it by love – in all of its forms. One of the most basic beginner forms is care for our own. To not, is to deny the faith at its most basic level. Paul says to do so makes a believer worse than an infidel.

The word for faith in the Greek is pistos. The word translated to infidel here is apistos, and the term refers to someone who is without faith, or who is a heathen (in the parlance of that day). But that is a pretty serious charge – to say that if you do not care for your own house you have denied the faith and are worse than an unbeliever. I mean, it’s a serious throwdown.

Taking Care of One's Own

But think about it? There is a natural law written on the hearts of most people that says, “we take care of our own.” My dad is an unbeliever but he has always taken care of his own – that is his generous way – as an infidel (or unbelieving heathen). So if we take someone who is a believer, and they not only have the natural inclination to care for their own but the Holy Spirit to guide them, and they refuse to help their widowed mother, etc., Paul’s declaration makes sense, right? They are worse than an infidel.

What is really bad, in my estimation, is when people will help the church financially but refuse to care for their own. That makes no sense whatsoever. Like a man who will pay tithes to his church but because his mother is not a believer will not assist her when she is a struggling widow – Paul says, worse than an infidel.” I know what Paul is saying here – it’s all within the context of everyone being believers, but I maintain that natural law moves all of us to care for our own first and above all others. And this is what I think Paul is saying.

Qualifications for Widows

So, at verse 9 Paul begins to elaborate to Timothy on some specifics about widows and women who are without spouses due to death, and he says:

9 Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man,

A score is twenty so three score is sixty years old. Plainly, what Paul says is do not allow a woman under sixty years of age to be taken in and added to the number of widows the church is caring for. That is the first qualification – age – and he will explain his reasoning why in a minute. He also adds another qualifier, “the wife of one man.” The age and culture was different than today and what Paul says here is not easily understood.

Paul was not against people remarrying in the case of death, so this could not be saying that it was wrong to take on another husband. And here we go – it wasn’t wrong, as Paul indicates in other places, but it was not as respectable. It seems to me, that what Paul is saying here, as bad as this sounds, but it seems that Paul was saying that true widows, widows indeed who would qualify to be cared-for by the church, a system that was set up going all the way back to the early chapters of Acts, it seems to me that Paul was saying that only the most respected (qualified) widows ought to be taken into the number and cared for by the coffers of the church.

Cultural Context

This hearkens to the fact that anciently, and in some ways even today, women who are widowed and never remarry were seen as truly devoted to their one and only mate, and therefore as more respected. I am not saying that this is the case, I am only citing ancient culture and even some modern views as this being prevalent. The line, “the wife of one man” has been debated by a number of scholars over the years and in my estimation this is the better summary.

I have to also appeal to the fact that the Bride at that time under apostolic rule had to be holy and this was part of it – including Paul’s attitudes. We live in a very different age today – and have for nearly 2000 or at least 1000 years. What is customary and acceptable today was not often acceptable then. And this is one example. But Paul doesn’t stop there. He adds to the qualifications, saying in verse 10

“Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.”

So, let’s make a list of Paul’s qualifications for a woman being a widow indeed:

Cannot have other family.
Must be 60 or older.
Was to only have had one man as husband.

If she is, “Well reported of for good works,” meaning she is of good character or reputation. If she have brought up children. Meaning she has raised either her own children or others – which is interesting because the 1st rule is she does not have other family.

Paul’s Instructions on Widows

The idea must mean then that she has raised children well but they are gone or moved away or dead. If she has lodged strangers. If she has been characterized by hospitality–a virtue greatly commended in the Scriptures. If she have washed the saints' feet. We can’t say whether Paul means this literally or if he is painting a picture of devout women generally. Generally speaking, such a widow would be humble and self-denying – which would be proven by washing the feet of others, which was one of the rites of hospitality in the East. If she has relieved the afflicted. If it has been her character that she was ready to furnish relief to those who were in distress. And just to make sure she is really fantastic, Paul adds: If she have diligently followed every good work.

Widows in the Early Church

That is NINE direct qualifications Paul lays out here – way more than he does for any other directive for Timothy’s approach to others – including Deacons and Bishops! Why? I suggest that there was obviously a problem there with the whole matter of widows and problems like this have the tendency to rip groups apart.

In the earliest church, well before the Gentiles were permitted in, there was an issue, in fact, I think it was the first issue the young church faced and it had to do with? That widows were not being treated fairly. It’s recorded in Acts chapter 6 verse 1 where Luke writes:

1 Acts 6:1 And in those days, when the number of the disciples was multiplied, there arose a murmuring of the Grecians Jews against the Hebrew Jews because their widows were neglected in the daily distribution of goods.

So, the subject was a sore spot and apparently required some direct leadership to how to handle it. Now at this point, Paul continues and speaks pretty directly to those who do not qualify and says (verse 11):

11 But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry.

So first, if they do not meet the qualifications I just laid out, namely age, do not allow them into the group. It’s the second line that is troubling though where he adds: “for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry.”

Understanding "Wax Wanton Against Christ"

Now, we can believe any number of things about these words Paul writes here, and they include: This was a reality in that day and we are not talking about something passive. That perhaps it was common for many widows “to actually wax wanton against Christ,” after a period of being widows.

The seven words in English: “they have begun to wax wanton against” all comes from one Greek word, katas-tray-nee-ah-o with kata meaning down and tray-nee-ah-o meaning “luxury.” So, “when they fall into lifestyles of luxury,” is another way to see it. Of course, this is a reality in some people’s lives. The church was exposed to great suffering, and when a younger woman would cash in that suffering for a life of apparent luxury, Paul summarized this as them “waxing wanton against Christ.”

Which is a pretty strong sentiment, but if we were in that day, and could see this happening with some, we might not be so critical of the way Paul phrases it. Remember, Jesus himself taught in the parable of the Sower that one of the reasons people would not bear fruit was “the riches of the world,” would choke them. Paul may be speaking directly to this. Another possibility is that Paul was apparently married, according to some sources, and his wife left him when he converted to Christ. It’s possible that she remarried, perhaps someone with means, and this was a personal affront to Paul, and hence the harsh words to Timothy about the younger widows remarrying and falling into luxury.

It could have also been a combination of these factors too. We know that the writers of scripture will, at times, include their own world and experiences into some of the things they wrote, and this could be part of that. And the directness doesn’t end here. So . . verse 11: But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; And then he adds at verse 12:

12 Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith.

These are direct words addressing certain women who meet the description he gives. He does not prohibit marriage, so this is not the point. The point is there are certain people – in this case, young widowed women.

Paul's Guidance on Younger Widows

The passage addresses a specific issue concerning younger widows that Paul is warning Timothy about. It highlights how some younger widows, having "cast off their first faith," find themselves facing judgment. This judgment doesn't imply damnation or a lack of salvation but rather certain consequences for their choices, as explained by Paul in more detail.

The Behavior of Certain Widows

Paul observes that certain widows have become idle, wandering from house to house and becoming tattlers and busybodies. They speak things they ought not, engaging in gossip and meddling, which stirs trouble within the church.

In response, Paul clarifies his stance on marriage for these younger widows:

14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

Paul's advice for younger widows is proactive. By marrying, raising families, and managing their homes, they avoid giving adversaries any reason to criticize their faith. It's not about condemning marriage but emphasizing a stable, productive course of action.

A Call to Responsibility

Paul notes in verse 15 that some younger widows have already turned aside after Satan. This highlights the importance of staying committed to their faith amidst temptations and deceptions.

16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.

Paul concludes with advice to believers on caring for widows. When individual believers support the widows within their families, the church can focus its resources on aiding those truly in need.

The discussion ends with an invitation for questions, comments, and prayer.