Genesis 16: Transition and Reflections
Welcome Prayer Song Silence
So, now we come to a big chapter – a transition chapter – in the annals of both Jewish, Muslim and Christian history – Genesis 16. Let’s read the whole thing but before we do I want to gently state that I am speaking generalities today, knowing that there are exceptions to every rule on earth. But, as a man who started engaging intimately with girls before I reached an age of double digits, who has three sisters growing up and a domineering mother, and because I pursued and dated a lot of females prior to marriage, then married a prized and trusted woman, then had my issues with them in my marriage with women, then fathered and raised our three prized possession daughters – and bottom line is I have been fascinated and readily engaged with the opposite sex for no less than 55 years and I see some “general truths” unfold in scriptures that tend to be reflective of reality. That said, let’s read
The Story of Sarai, Abram, and Hagar
Genesis 16.1-7 October 2nd 2022
Genesis 16:1 Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.
2 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai
3 And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife.
4 And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.
5 And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee.
6 But Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid is in thy hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face.
7 And the angel of the LORD found her by a fountain of water in the wilderness, by the fountain in the way to Shur.
Hagar and Her Journey
Okay, let’s go back to the first verse.
1 Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.
Because Hagar was an Egyptian, Chrysostom made the conjecture that she was one of those female slaves which Pharaoh gave to Abram when he traveled in Egypt and which we covered back in Genesis 12:16. Her name that we pronounce as “Hagar” means “a stranger or a sojourner” and in all likelihood was bestowed on her either by Abram or his family or it was assigned to her after she left his presence by Moses. And we can say this because it is constructed of pure Hebrew. The name Sarai means princess and/or dynasty – which is ever so appropriate a meaning to what she would produce with Abram.
2 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.
In antiquity, female slaves constituted a part of the private patrimony, meaning that they were seen as the possessions of a wife, and that Sarai had the right, according to the usages of those times, to dispose of her slaves she pleased, the husband having no say in the case.
Lessons on Faith and Practicality
So, with Hagar the slave being the literal property of Sarai, any children obtained would also be hers. Now, Sarai said to Abram, “BEHOLD – look around husband, God is not allowing me to bear a child – He has restrained this from happening. And so she, instead of waiting on Him and maintaining the faith that God wanted her to bear the son of Promise, chose and promoted an alternative – one that appeared quite reasonable to her.
I suggest that we see a similar event unfold in the garden – Eve saw an alternative that made PRACTICAL sense – and that is central to these stories – the women, created by God to be very practical (once they have a future to manage) and sometimes this practicality, expressed as acting faith, misses the point of trusting in the Lord. Sometimes. It was on
The Marriage of Abram and Hagar
this ground that Sarai gave her slave Haggar to Abram.
3 And Sarai (Abram's wife) took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife.
Do we read that anything happens here for Hagar to become Abrams wife? Any ceremony? Any religious pronouncement, wedding vows, sealings officiants with priesthood authority?
Why not? Because sexual union among the children of God were sacrosanct – even before the Law. Certainly, the children of Men would engage in sexual relations with many people – it is part and parcel of the animal world and without the Spirit of God human beings are pretty much just super talented animals, in my estimation. But somehow, among the people of faith and children of God, the act of sexual union was the act of marital consummation, and lifetime commitment and when it occurred a man made a woman his wife in and through uniting with her in this way – which she had to allow.
The Act and Its Consequences
Which is why we read in verse 4
4 And he (Abram) went in unto Hagar, (this is the marital act – Sarai gave her handmaid to Abram, who was her property and Abram went in unto her) “and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.”
What this verse is actually saying is utterly proverbial and pregnant with drama (no pun intended). First
“And he went in unto Hagar.”
Look the heck out. One man, one wife – and then “another added.” Come on, man. Here in ministry in Utah and also in life I have had a front row seat to men and women bringing more than one woman into the marital union. I’ve personally known a half dozen swinger couples (no, Mary and I have never been one of them – well, Mary has but I have refrained) and in EVERY single case – every one – the marriage falls apart if they pursue this lifestyle and don’t turn back from it. It will not work – no matter the rationale – for couples. Because God did not make us this way for it to work – and when I say us, I mean women. Talk about unnatural – it’s a joke.
And then with polygamy I’ve also known a half a dozen people – both men and women – and in the end the misery involved the result. Misery for the women. Why? Most women are not so constructed to share the man they love. Period. So, the line, “And Abram went in unto Hagar” out the freaking gate just screams, Abram, you are gonna see TROUBLE. God knew what He was doing in the creation. That is the template for success is in male/female relationships and all variations and alterations will lend to suffering somewhere that would otherwise not exist.
Understanding the Aftermath
Of course, men are typically not naturally monogamous – and these two realities in the human existence lead to some really messed up events – without God in the mix. But it is the next line that brings down the house:
“and she Hagar conceived.”
OMGosh – look out! The wife cannot conceive at this point but the maid can? Now, in a man’s mind, we naturally would be like, “Yeah, look first wife! We’re all gonna have a baaaaaby!” But I would suggest that in 99% of the cases the first wife is not gonna be down with these results – guaranteed. See, the man THINKS (somehow) that the two women are gonna be a team – a team all happy and satisfied serving him, the captain of that team. A new baby will be a blessing to the team, honey, the team. But this myth forged in the ego of a man’s mind is nowhere close to reality. Nowhere close! Because once the second wife provides something to her husband that the first wife can’t, a huge nerve in most women is struck – and the reaction is otherworldly, so to speak.
And then another proverbial female result occurs – no judgment, just looking around at the typical results here and we come to the next bomb
“and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.”
The Hebrew the way to understand this line is to read it like this
and when she (Hagar) saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.
Dynamics Between Women
Her mistress (Sarai) was despised in her (Hagar’s) eyes. In other words, poor Egyptian handmaid Hagar, once the property of Sarai and serving her, now becomes the property of her husband Abram, and conceives from him! Look the heck out! The second wife has now done what the first could not, and she provided a son to a childless husband!
A baby is the consummate product of a couple and for Hagar to give one and Sarai to fail at it, we read of another general condition coming forward from some women – I don’t know what to call it – “Relishing in victory over another woman who once reigned.” We all tend to enjoy it but men seem to shout their victory and verbally taunt the other side they have beaten. Women are less obvious but more relentless in such shift of power.
See, in this situation, it might seem apparent to Hagar and Sarai that the lack of producing a child fell on Sarai because Abram was able to produce a child with Hagar! So it wasn’t Abram's fault. And then to add salt to the situation, now the pregnant second wife, seeing that she has conceived, gets all attitudinal, all superior, and in her mind she becomes the Queen to the King, leaving the former Queen in the dust – which is the type of victory some women love.
Female Jealousy
There is perhaps NO THING more undermining, infuriating, and maddening to a woman than the situation presented in verse 4. It occurs in far lesser expressions between females but this one is stomping right on the nerve of how God created most females. Where we might generally categorize most natural men as dogs – panting, running wild, barking – doing whatever passes by that catches their attention, we might also generally categorize women as felines. And while there are always exceptions, these tend to be generally accepted comparisons.
And where both can experience jealousy, there is a type of jealousy that exists among some females that is, shall we say, “deeply furious.” It can exist in men, but it seems to more generally exist in women toward other women. The phrase, “hell has no fury as a woman scorned” does not come from the Bible. It was taken from the writings of a guy named William Congreve, who wrote a play called "The Mourning Bride" (published in 1697) where he used a very similar line.
Biblical Wisdom on Women
The scripture does say, however, in Proverbs 21:9: “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.” Proverbs 19:13 adds: A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping. Proverbs 21:19: It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. And Proverbs 27:15 says: “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.”
Don’t get this wrong – the scripture also depicts good women too and I would be remiss to ignore Proverbs 31. As I read this NOTE carefully the pragmatism and skills of a good woman described here:
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto…
The Qualities of a Good Woman
25 Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Of course, we can discount many of these ancient descriptions of a good woman today, and we can see a great deal of her attributes only described as favoring her husband here, but I do suggest the principles of a good woman described herein remain. I have always believed that good women are the salt of this earth, the governors of societal morality and essential to the well-being of home, hearth, family, and nation. In other words, a nation's men can be men and remain intact, but if the women of a nation join them, ruin awaits.
The Influence and Power of Women
But to the point – even a good woman scorned can respond/react in ways that for many men becomes intolerable. What is it that they say, “Happy wife, happy life?” I’m not sure this is a fiction. Perhaps you have heard the story of the man who was late coming home from work and upon entering the house his wife could see that his clothing and the skin on his face and arms are torn to shreds, that he was shoeless, soaking wet, and smelling like the bowels of hell.
“What happened?” she asks exasperated at his appearance and delay, and he replies:
“I was leaving work and my car wouldn’t start so Lisa at the office offered me a ride home. As we were walking to her car a guy with a gun jumped out and asked for my wallet. Lisa ran away screaming and I tried to overwhelm him and we got into a full-on brawl. In the middle of the brawl a pack of dogs appeared out of nowhere and started biting into us, tearing at our clothes and bodies and we both got up and ran furiously in opposite directions which caused me to tripped and I fell headlong into an open sewer entrance. It started raining, and I lost my shoe in the downpour and wandered around in the underground sewer, bitten by rats and opossums. Finally, even though I was totally disoriented, I saw an opening, climbed out and walked the rest of the way here.”
And his wife looks at him and says, “Who’s Lisa?”
Biblical Examples
Here we have Sarai, desperate for a child and in this desperation fails to wait for God to bring her one (as He has promised) so she does what women are made to do – create a feast out of leftovers and her pragmatism steps in – “God isn’t gonna do it so we have to,” is the apparent attitude. I make this mistake all the time. And like Abram who wondered if the son was to come from a servant, Sarai offers up a solution that apparently makes sense and sounds good to her and Abram at the time.
I want to point out that Abram went along with this. It’s an important observation. Up to this point, God in his promises to Abram only speaks of Abram, using, “YOU and never you and Sarai.” And this left the door wide open for this suggestion to be made. Perhaps God intended this or knew this, and that the offspring from both women would be used in his plans – which Paul seems to suggest. Throughout biblical history, while women are described as valuable helpmeets to men, it also depicts them as having influence and power in their own right, included in the stories of Eve – who proves to be someone of faith (where Adam does not), of a general named Deborah, of two female obstetricians (named Shiprah and Puah), of a wise woman of Tehoa, a female city official and Lemuel’s mother who advised a King. There is Ruth and there are others, including the virgin Mary, and the other Mary’s of the Apostolic Record, including Mary of Magdala, who was a woman of some power being she bore the name of
Equality in Christ
Her origins, and of course Paul on a couple of occasions, mention women of influence in the Apostolic church – so much so that he tells all the believers to “do all that they instruct them to do.” See, in Christ, there are no differences between males and females, something I think modern religion ought to re-evaluate. Certainly, in the Old Testament, and even in the Apostolic record, women were in many ways at best second class. But with Christ comes the ideal – a return to the prefall status of male and female relationships – that of equality – and so any division today between the genders is foolish.
Marital Relations in Scripture
But with all of that being said, we do find a sore spot in scripture in the marital relations between men and women – especially in the Old Testament because a great deal of trouble does occur when some men (namely, Adam and Abraham) chose to listen to their wives instead of the Lord. That is the problem – not with the wives because the wives in both cases are appealing to how they were made to solve a problem – so they are not the problem, the fail comes to the men who fail to listen to the Lord first. So the focus isn’t upon wives or women, the focus is really on the ancient Patriarchs not listening and waiting on the Lord. Remember, the sign of the covenant in that day was enacted upon men through circumcision; today everyone, male and female, are called to submit to circumcision of the heart.
Does this suggest that wives cannot be trusted or are not good counselors to their husbands? Not in the least. In fact, in my experience, wives are often, in the age of Christianity, more of the spiritual leader in the home than men. But when we consider this ancient time, at the budding moments of the world (in the Creation story) and of the Nation (in this story of Abram and Hagar), the men would have done better by refusing the advice of their better more attractive halves.
5 And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee.
Sarai, Abram and Hagar
On first read, it sounds like Sarai is saying that she made an error in judgment. But our linguists correct this view and suggest that what is really happening is Sarai is insinuating that everything was his fault because he didn’t have the power to impregnate her, and now this handmaiden was pregnant and Abram was more aligned with her which and this has caused Hagar to become rude or petulant toward Sarai. As a means to put a stop to this unrest and scorn we read the following response from Abram.
6 But Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid is in thy hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face.
In other words, to remove all suspicion of this kind, Abram delivers up Hagar into Sarai's hand again (or control) who apparently was under his protection while she was Abram’s concubine or secondary wife. And now having Hagar back in her control, this Hagar that was acting all uppity as Abram’s second pregnant wife is dealt “hardly” with by Sarai,” and Hagar took off from the scene. The Hebrew words translated, “dealt hardly with her” means that she “afflicted her” and the words are not gentle in nature – they are harsh and can even mean she applied stripes and hard treatment to break her hubris and proud attitude. So, much so that Hagar fled somehow believing that she would fare better in the desert rather than in the presence of Sarai.
“It was quite the scene, man.” (verse 7)
Questions/answers
Remember the Seminar tonight if you are interested. 5 to 7 Pm Oct 2nd 2022 PRAYER
